


In Dreams

by Light_Within_Darkness



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - High School, Amnesia, Amnesiac!Reiner, Blood, Eventual Smut, Experimental Drugs, Explicit Language, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gift Fic, Human Experimentation, M/M, Minor Character Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Protective!Bertholdt, Secret Government Agendas, Slow Build, Torture, Unethical Experimentation, Yaoi, hopefully I won't mess it up, my first fic for this pairing, this fic is gonna be crazy, tw: needles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-24
Updated: 2014-03-31
Packaged: 2018-01-05 20:57:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1098517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Light_Within_Darkness/pseuds/Light_Within_Darkness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reiner Braun has a perfect life: two loving and supportive parents, good looks, popular, outgoing, friendly, and generally well-liked by the entire student body of Trost High.  He's the star quarterback for the school football team, and has the perfect girlfriend in cheerleading captain Christa Renz.  Reiner's the guy who seems to have it all.</p><p>Except that Reiner can't remember anything from before the age of twelve, when his parents found him lying unconscious on their doorstep.  Not to mention the strange dreams that plague him - where he is a little boy, locked up and tortured in a nightmarish facility.  Flitting in and out of these visions is a person known to Reiner only as the tall boy, the sole source of comfort Reiner finds in his dreams.  </p><p>When new guy Bertholdt Fubar shows up, everything Reiner thought he knew, about the world and about himself, is turned violently on its head.  Now, Reiner must fight to uncover the secrets of his past...and survive long enough to see the future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue Part 1: Strange Dreams

**Author's Note:**

  * For [D](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=D).



> So this fic is a holiday gift for a friend of mine, the person who first got me hooked on SnK. (And now I can't stop. This fandom is like cocaine O.O). We both ship ReiBert, and asked me to write her a fic with protective!Bertholdt in it. So here I am, branching out from the safe haven of Ereri into ReiBert. Hopefully I don't mangle their characters. /sweats
> 
> SOMEHOW IT BECAME THIS. To think, I was origianlly just going to write a smutty one-shot. Now there's actual plot and stuff going on. What happened?! (My need to write the plot of SnK in the modern world is what happened).
> 
> This is part one of a two-part prologue. I was originally going to make it one part, but realized that the scene transitions would be a bit too jarring for that. Expect the second part of the prologue up soon, though!
> 
> Enjoy, D~ This one's for you!

Reiner Braun has many strange dreams.

He is always a small boy in these dreams, no older than twelve. Often, Reiner is subjected to many awful, terrible things in his dreams. Reiner has dreamt of standing in a large, fenced-off asphalt lot, screaming and crying as blood drips from various wounds on his hands and fingers. Reiner has dreamt of getting jabbed repeatedly by the large needle of a syringe filled with strangely-colored liquid. Reiner has dreamt of his small body curled up inside a great red cocoon of muscle and flesh, pulsing wetly around him with every beat of his heart. Reiner has dreamt of screaming and struggling against the arms of much larger and stronger men and women, as they drag him into a room with blindingly bright lights and a large metal table. 

Sometimes, however, Reiner's dreams are not so terrible and frightening. And all of these less-frightening dreams feature a tall boy. In some of these dreams, there is a girl as well, but the tall boy appears more often. He cannot clearly make out their features - their faces and bodies are blurry, with soft edges. All Reiner knows is that the boy is unusually tall, hence why the blond calls him "the tall boy" in Reiner's head. The girl is shorter than them both. However, the most pleasant dreams Reiner has are of just himself and the tall boy.

In the first dream Reiner ever had of the tall boy, he is being led into a small room by a woman dressed in blue hospital scrubs. The blond gets the sense that this woman is not a cruel person, but neither is she a kind one. She simply doesn't seem to care what happens to Reiner at all. All of Reiner's caretakers look like this - wearing blue scrubs and regarding the blond boy with blank, apathetic eyes. It fills Reiner with equal parts fear and revulsion, this lack of feeling he sees on the faces of the people around him.

The woman pushes open a heavy steel door, with a large number "8" painted on it in black. There is a small barred slot in the door a few feet above Reiner's head, so that people can look through it and into the room beyond. Lower down, there is another slot in the door for trays of food to pass through. The room itself is depressing in its austerity. There are two cots, each with a set of thin, scratchy-looking sheets, blanket, and pillow. Between the cots is a beat-up wooden cabinet, upon which rests an old lamp that casts a dim, flickering light against the blank walls. Reiner feels lumpy, industrial gray carpeting beneath his feet.

Sitting on one of the cots is the tall boy. He is staring down at the carpet, idly scuffing at one of the uneven seams with his toes. He looks up when the door opens and stares at Reiner, his posture becoming stiff with surprise. Reiner stares back. He has never seen a boy his own age before, only other adults. From the tall boy's reaction, the blond guesses that he hasn't, either.

The woman reaches out a hand and gives Reiner a small push forward. "You'll be staying with this boy now, Reiner," she says quietly, in a voice utterly devoid of emotion. "He's in the same program as you." The woman leaves, shutting the door behind her with a firm _click._

For a long moment the only sound is from the woman's footsteps, growing softer and softer as she walks away. Reiner and the tall boy continue to stare at each other. 

Finally, the tall boy slowly gets up off of his cot. He walks equally slowly towards Reiner, as if Reiner is a deer that might spook and run away if he moves too quickly. Reiner eyes the tall boy warily, but stands his ground. Normally, when people try to get close to Reiner, they want to give him a shot or cut at his body with sharp, cold metal instruments. The tall boy, however, is different from anyone else Reiner has interacted with so far. He seems...gentler, somehow. Curious, in the earnest sort of way that young children are.

The tall boy stops a few inches in front of Reiner. The blond has to look up at his face, which is a fleshy blur a few inches above Reiner's head. The tall boy raises a trembling hand and touches Reiner's cheek. It is the first gentle touch the blond can remember feeling from another person in his dreams. His own eyes widen in shock at the soft feel of the tall boy's fingers against his skin.

 _"Are you real?"_ The tall boy whispers.

The dream ends, and seventeen year-old Reiner Braun's golden-brown eyes fly open. He is breathing heavily, as if he has just run a mile around the football field at school. Reiner runs shaky fingers through his short blond hair and shivers, noting unhappily that his sheets are covered in a cold sweat.

Reiner buries his face in his hands, taking slow, deep breaths in order to calm himself down. _Dammit!_ He thinks angrily. _These fucking dreams are such bullshit! I'm still having them after five_ fucking _years, and I don't even know why!_

_I don't even know what the tall boy looks like..._

Though he would never admit it to anyone, not even to himself, Reiner wanted more than anything else in the world to see the tall boy's face.


	2. Prologue Part 2: Amnesia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story of how Petra and Auruo found Reiner on their porch one morning, and end up adopting him. Meanwhile, nefarious schemes are afoot...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *wobbles in with the chapter* First update of 2014, yeeeaaahhhh~! 
> 
> So this is much longer than Part 1. I'm glad I decided to split the two up. :) This part provides some background into Reiner's current life, and serves to set the stage for what comes next. No ReiBert goodness yet, but it's coming. Bertholdt will definitely show up soon. Annie too, because you can't write an epic ReiBert fic without Annie. 
> 
> Hopefully you guys like Auretra, because there's lots of it in this chapter. :3
> 
> Enjoy~

Reiner's first memory was of lying in a tightly curled ball on the front porch of the couple who were now his parents. It was the middle of winter, and snow was falling in large, fluffy flakes, covering the quiet suburban neighborhood in a thick blanket of white. The porch Reiner had taken refuge on had a small roof over it, so it kept the worst of the snow off of him at least. However, it was still bitingly cold outside, and the blond was dressed only in a thin gray shirt and pants, and a pair of cloth slippers. His entire body was wracked with shivers, and all Reiner had the strength to do was curl up tighter and chatter his teeth. Golden-brown eyes stared listlessly at the snowflakes, illuminated in the glow of the porch light as they fell.

Then the front door opened, and a woman stepped out. She was petite, with short reddish-brown hair falling attractively around her chin. The woman yawned as she stepped outside, wrapping the puffy black coat she was wearing over a set of silk pajamas a bit tighter around her shoulders. "If you'd just remember to turn the porch light off before going to bed, I wouldn't have to come out here - _Oh my god!"_ The woman stepped back, honey-colored eyes going wide as she spotted Reiner curled up on the porch. The blond lifted his head a few inches upon hearing her cry, blinking blearily at her.

The woman rushed to the boy's side, kneeling down next to him. "Oh my...how in the world...?" She murmured. Uncaring of the cold, she whipped her own coat off and wrapped it around Reiner's thin shoulders. "Come on, sweetie," she said, gently shaking Reiner in an attempt to coax him to his feet. "Get up, we need to get you inside where it's warm."

"Petra!?" An older man had come outside now, his short wavy hair and woolen pajamas rumpled from sleep. "Petra, what - ?" His hazel eyes widened upon spotting his wife pulling one of Reiner's arms over her shoulders. "Who the hell is this?"

"I don't know, I just found him on the porch now," Petra replied. "Help me get him up, Auruo. We need to get him inside, or he'll get hypothermia."

Auruo went to the boy's side and lifted Reiner's other arm around his own shoulders. Together, the couple hefted Reiner up onto his feet. "Can you walk?" Petra asked. The blond nodded, and with Petra and Auruo's help, he was able to get inside. Petra shut the door behind them, while Auruo laid Reiner down on the living room couch. 

"Ahh...it's warm," Reiner muttered sleepily, as Petra covered him with a thick fleece blanket that had been draped on a nearby armchair. "Mmm..." Reiner snuggled a bit deeper under the blanket, a sleepy smile crossing his face.

"Don't go to sleep," Petra said firmly. She wrapped the boy's hands up in her own and began to gently rub the cold, reddened fingertips. Reiner obediently looked up at her. "Auruo, go heat up some washcloths in the microwave. Don't wet them, just warm them up."

Auruo hesitated. "I don't want to leave you alone with him," he said. "We don't know who this boy is, or where he came from. What if he's dangerous?"

Petra glared at her husband. "He's just a _boy,_ for heaven's sake! And one who just barely managed to avoid getting hypothermia, at that. Now, I'm the nurse here, so go heat up those towels for me."

Auruo still seemed unwilling to leave Petra alone with Reiner, but at one more sharp glare from his wife, he sighed and headed for the linens closet. "Fine, fine, I'm going..." he mumbled.

"What's your name, sweetie?" Petra asked, gently stroking Reiner's hair in an effort to keep him awake.

"Um..." Reiner thought for a moment. He had a name, didn't he? Everyone had a name, after all. Finally the answer came to him, drifting slowly into the blond's awareness as if rising from the depths of a great ocean. "It's Reiner. Reiner Braun."

"OK, Reiner. My name is Petra. Petra Bossard-Ral. The man who just left the room is my husband, Auruo." Petra explained. "Reiner, I need you to tell me where your parents are. Can you do that for me?"

"Uh..." Reiner wracked his brain again, but there was only a mish-mash of light and indistinct, shapeless faces. The blond tried to grab onto a concrete memory, something that could tell him how he had come to be lying on Auruo and Petra's porch in the middle of the night. But the blurry, wobbling ovals of faces and bodies in Reiner's mind slipped past him and disappeared like morning mists. Only his name remained.

"I - I don't remember!" Reiner cried out. He clutched at his head as panic overwhelmed him. Why couldn't he remember anything? Who was he? Where did he come from? These questions raced through Reiner's body like jolts of lightning, quickening his heartbeat and making his muscles tense up. Reiner whimpered and clutched his head more tightly, his fingers fisting around short locks of bright blond hair.

Petra gently shushed the boy, stroking his back with soft, warm fingers. "It's OK," she whispered reassuringly. "It's OK, you're safe now. Don't try to force yourself."

Reiner focused on the soft touch of the woman beside him, clinging tightly to the image of her kind, honey-colored eyes in the absence of anything else. Slowly, his body relaxed once more, lids drooping heavily over his eyes. The blond was so tired, and the blanket he was under was so warm...

Auruo re-entered the room, a pile of warm terrycloth towels in his arms. "Petra, we should take him to the hospital," he said, handing the towels over to his wife. Petra began to tuck the warm fabric around Reiner's head and body. The boy let out soft, sleepy murmurs of comfort at feeling even more warmth around him.

Petra looked down at Reiner, who had by now drifted off to sleep. A sad little smile crossed her face as she thought of just how young the boy looked. Based on his height, he was probably around twelve or so, just on the cusp of adolescence. And he was so thin as well, little more than skin and bones. Judging by the dark circles under Reiner's eyes, the boy had clearly been through a lot of stress. Petra reached out and gently laid a hand on the boy's shoulders, feeling the harsh edges of bone under his skin. _He's so thin..._ She found herself wanting to feed Reiner, to watch him eat cookies and cake and grilled cheese sandwiches until the boy had put on some weight. She wanted to see Reiner's sad, haunted eyes brighten, and to watch the boy smile and laugh.

"No," Petra found herself saying to Auruo. "Reiner - that's his name, by the way - is clearly exhausted. I don't think it's a good idea to wake him up and subject him to the stress of the emergency room right now. I'll stay down here and watch him, in order to make sure he's alright. If anything happens, we can take him to the hospital room straightaway."

Auruo opened his mouth to argue, but Petra kept talking. "In the morning we'll take Reiner to the police station, OK? They'll be able to find his family."

Auruo sighed. His wife loved children, which made it all the more saddening that the two of them weren't able to have any of their own. He supposed that it couldn't hurt to let the boy spend the night, if it made Petra happy. "I'm not letting you stay up alone all night to watch the boy. I'll stay up with you," he said.

Petra turned to face her husband, her eyes and face lighting up with a smile. "Thank you, honey," she said, wrapping her arms around Auruo's neck and planting a soft kiss against his lips.

Auruo chuckled gently. "So what's Reiner here's story? Is he a runaway or something?"

Petra turned back to the sleeping boy, frowning slightly as she ran gentle fingers through his hair. "He doesn't remember."

**-x-**

The next morning, a man was walking briskly down a long hallway towards a door, the heels of his black dress shoes clicking sharply with every step. The hallway was the sort of nondescript one seen in office buildings everywhere - plain white walls, squeaky linoleum floors, and banks of harsh fluorescent lights overhead. The door was equally nondescript, bearing only a single nameplate with the name of its occupant on it in neat block letters.

The man himself looked average as well: medium height, slim build, short dark hair. He wore the same clothes one might expect to find on the average businessman - a black suit, white dress shirt, and red tie. However, this man had a sinister air about him, a kind of sleaziness that was difficult to pinpoint the origin of. Perhaps it was his pale, pointed face, with its thin moustache and sparse goatee. Or his cold, dark eyes, like two small lumps of burnt coal. But anyone who knew this man, and the sort of powerful connections he had, could say that this was most definitely _not_ a person to get on the wrong side of.

Appearance was also about the extent of how typical the entire place was. The man was currently walking down a corridor in the largest, most high-security military-industrial complex in the world. It encompassed several miles of land in the middle of nowhere, and the entire place was ringed with barbed wire and electric fences. Heavily-armed guards stood at various entryways and towers scattered about the complex, along with large, vicious-looking dogs.

And the man in the dark suit was currently going to visit none other than the Director of the entire place.

He rapped smartly on the door three times. "Who is it?" A voice from within called out. Calm, but laced with the authority of one who is not used to being disobeyed.

"Nile Dawk, sir," the man replied.

"Ah, Nile. Come in, I've been expecting you."

Nile entered the office. "Take a seat," said the Director, gesturing to a chair in front of his desk. Nile did so. "What have you found for me, Nile?"

"We've managed to pinpoint Reiner Braun's current location, using the tracking device embedded in his neck." Nile replied. "He is currently in a suburb just outside of Trost, sir. The boy spent last night at 32 Freedom Lane, the home of a couple named Bossard-Ral - "

The Director held up a hand, and Nile stopped talking. "Very good. Do you know where they are now?"

"En route to the local police station, I suspect. The Chief there goes by the name of Dot Pixis. If you'd like, sir, I can send a team to retrieve the boy right now."

The Director leaned back in his chair, tenting his fingertips as he thought for a few moments. "No, actually."

Nile looked surprised. "Sir?"

"Don't get me wrong here, Nile. We'll take Reiner back eventually, of course. For now, however...I'd like to see how he adjusts to living in the world outside of this complex. It will be interesting to see how the boy reacts to outside stimuli. Will he be able to blend in successfully with the rest of society? Will he eventually transform? If he does, what will cause it? I think the answers to these questions could prove quite fascinating, don't you?"

"Sir...I'm not sure if that's wise. Reiner Braun is a highly classified and potentially quite dangerous member of the TITAN Project, after all. If he leaks anything to the public..."

"He won't." A slow smile spread across the Director's face. "I suspect our dear Reiner will be a bit...lacking in the memory department these days."

"What do you mean?" Nile asked, now thoroughly nonplussed.

"You'll find out soon enough." The Director lazily waved a hand in dismissal. "Give Chief Pixis a call for me in ten minutes or so. Someone will have a convincing story and any necessary paperwork drawn up for you."

Nile would have dearly loved to have gotten some more answers out of his boss, but decided that it was unwise to stay around and risk upsetting the man. No matter how much power Nile had, the Director had even more. He could ruin Nile's entire life with just a snap of his fingers. The dark-haired man stood up to leave, nodding to his boss as he turned to the door. Hopefully, more answers would be forthcoming - or Nile would be able to wrangle more out in the future, somehow. "Of course."

"Oh, and Nile?" The dark-haired man paused, looking quizzically back at the Director. "I assume the other two have been detained?"

"They are, sir."

"Excellent." The Director leaned back in the plush leather armchair behind his desk. "Make certain that they do not escape again, or the consequences will be...severe."

**-x-**

The next morning found Reiner happily eating his way through a stack of pancakes smothered in syrup and butter, courtesy of Petra. The blond had decided that Petra and Auruo were the two nicest, kindest people in the whole world, and Petra's pancakes were the most delicious he'd ever eaten. Reiner couldn't actually remember eating pancakes before - or anything, really, before last night. But he wasn't going to worry about that now. Not on such a beautiful, sunny morning, with fresh snow turning the yard outside into a sparkling winter wonderland. Not when Auruo was reaching out to playfully tussle his hair, causing Reiner to giggle and Petra to look at them with warm, loving eyes. Right now, life for Reiner felt absolutely perfect.

All three of them were reluctant to drive over to the police station, but Auruo and Petra knew that it had to be done. Reiner wasn't actually their child, after all. As Auruo reminded them, when Reiner was dawdling over putting on a pair of Petra's old winter boots, there were probably be people out there right now, desperately searching for Reiner, and worrying about whether or not he was alright. It wouldn't be fair to the blond's family to keep him here longer than was necessary. Reiner told Auruo that he didn't even remember whether or not he actually had a family, but it didn't stop the Bossard-Rals from ushering him out to their car anyway.

The car ride to the police station in Trost was quiet. Reiner leaned against the car window, staring out at the two-story houses with their neat yards and perfectly-trimmed hedges as they drove by. He wondered if he did have a family looking for him. Did they live in a nice house like Petra and Auruo? Did they make pancakes in the morning and tussle his hair? Reiner honestly didn't know, and that scared him.

**-x-**

Dot Pixis, Trost's Chief of Police, silently regarded the trio currently sitting across from his desk. Auruo and Petra were each seated on either side of Reiner, who was pressing his thin body back into his chair as if hoping it would swallow him whole. The boy looked confused and frightened, and it broke Pixis' heart a bit to see a child that way. With his tall, thin body and gangly limbs, Reiner reminded Pixis a little of a spooked deer. The blond stared at Pixis with wide eyes, clearly quite anxious as to what his fate might be. Petra was holding the boy's hand in a comforting grip, gently stroking her thumb over the back of it.

"No identification, then?" Pixis asked.

"None," Auruo replied. "When we found him, Reiner was wearing the same clothes he's in now. We gave him a pair of boots and a coat to wear to the station, of course."

The Chief narrowed his eyes at Reiner's shirt and pants. The material looked scratchy and uncomfortable, and it was clearly too thin for the current weather. What sort of parents dressed their child this way? Did Reiner not even own a coat of his own? Pixis was getting angry just thinking about that possibility.

"Reiner Braun, eh?" Pixis flipped through the missing persons reports that were currently lying on his desk. He'd had his secretary bring him all the ones from the past week, just in case, but there wasn't a single Braun among them. "And you say that you don't remember anything, hm? Nothing at all? Friends, family, addresses?"

"N-no sir," Reiner mumbled, staring down at his feet. "Just my name...I'm sorry."

Pixis smiled gently behind his bushy gray moustache. "Now, now, there's no need to apologize, son," he said gently. "We'll get this whole thing figured out, don't you worry - "

"Chief Pixis?" The door to Pixis' office cracked open slightly, and his secretary, Janet, poked her head in. "There's a call for you out here. I tried to tell them you were busy, but it's someone from the state. They say that it's urgent."

Pixis sighed deeply, and rose to his feet. "Oh very well, tell them I'll be out in a moment," he said, unable to keep a slight hint of annoyance out of his voice. "I'm terribly sorry about this, Mr. and Mrs. Bossard-Ral. It will only be a moment. I'll have the secretary get some water for you in the meantime."

The Chief went outside to the large common area outside his office, where various lower-ranking officers were currently immersed in work at their individual desks. He took the phone Janet held out for him and sat down on a chair against the wall. "Pixis speaking."

"Hello, Chief," came a smooth male voice from the other end of the line. "My name is Nile Dawk, and I'm calling to inquire about the whereabouts of a boy by the name of Reiner Braun."

"Reiner Braun, you say?" Pixis sat up a bit straighter, pressing the phone closer to his ear in order to better hear Nile over the general bustle of the police station. "Why, the boy's sitting in my office right this moment! You have impeccable timing, sir."

Nile chuckled slightly. "Ah, excellent. You must be quite curious as to where he's come from, then."

"I am indeed, Mr. Dawk. The boy says that he can't remember a thing before last night, save for his name."

Nile hummed slightly. "Allow me to clarify a few things about Reiner for you, Chief..."

**-x-**

"I have good news for you three," Pixis said cheerily, upon re-entering his office. "I've just gotten off the phone with a Mr. Nile Dawk, a caseworker for the state orphanage."

"A...caseworker?" Petra's brow furrowed in confusion.

"For an orphanage?" Auruo looked similarly perplexed.

Pixis took up his seat behind his desk, folding his arms across it. "It turns out that Reiner here is a ward of the state. Apparently, he got into a bit of an argument with one of the caretakers earlier this week. Something about accidentally hitting another boy with a kickball, I believe. Anyway, Reiner was made to go to bed early as punishment, but slipped out after someone at the orphanage carelessly left a side door unlocked."

Reiner was by now thoroughly confused. He didn't remember an orphanage, or kickball, or anything that the police chief was talking about. And something about the name _Nile Dawk_ sent a chill down the blond's spine, though he had no idea why. Reiner couldn't remember ever hearing that name before in his life.

"So the poor boy must have gotten lost once it started snowing, and ended up on your porch," Pixis explained. He gave Reiner another gentle smile. "You probably didn't intend to go very far, did you now, Reiner? Got turned around in the snow, hm?"

"I...I guess." Reiner shifted uncomfortable in his seat, not meeting Pixis' eyes. "I still don't really remember..."

"Yes, Mr. Dawk said something like that might be the case. Apparently, Reiner's had problems with his memory ever since he was a little boy. Some sort of trauma from when he was an infant, when he was still living with his birth mother. Before the state took custody of him, I mean."

Petra and Auruo looked down at Reiner, their faces full of shock and worry. Petra reached over to gently stroke the blond's shoulders. Reiner finally met Pixis' weathered face as a feeling of shock lanced through him. "Does this mean I'll never get my memories back?"

"Well, I believe it's simply a matter of time," Pixis said gently. "When the time is right, I'm sure your memories will return, son. They might not come back right away, but I'm sure that with time, everything will become clear again."

It never occurred to Reiner at that time, that he might not _want_ his memories to return. By the time this thought crossed the blond's mind, it was already too late.

**-x-**

And so, Reiner started living with Petra and Auruo after that, with the state orphanage's blessing. A year later, once all the paperwork was in order and all of Reiner's records were sorted, the Bossard-Rals officially adopted him. The day Reiner became an official member of their family stood out in his mind as the happiest day of his life. The feeling of belonging, of having people who cared deeply about you in this world, was in Reiner's opinion the best feeling in the world.

The fact that Reiner was popular and well-liked at school was just icing on the cake. As the star quarterback for the Trost High Giants, Reiner was adored and looked up to by just about the entire student body as a sort of caring, brotherly figure. He had plenty of friends, and there was always something to do on Friday and Saturday nights. Yes, Reiner Braun seemed to have the perfect life.

Except, of course, for the dreams. When Reiner was in bed at night, sleeping fitfully as his mind filled with ghastly images of needles, pulsing red muscle, and eerily white bone, he felt closest to the tall boy. Despite the horrific images conjured up by the blond's subconscious, he could feel the tall boy's reassuring presence in the back of his mind, like a kind of guardian angel. The tall boy was the one bright spot among the terrible nightmares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to everyone who left comments and kudos! You guys are all the best, and I seriously appreciate all the attention. *preens*
> 
> So we've established that Nile Dawk is one of the bad guys. I wonder who the Director could be, though? IT IS A MYSTERY. O.O
> 
> This is the end of the prologue. In the next chapter, we learn more about Reiner's life and meet a few new characters. :)


	3. Chapter 1: Longing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reiner fails miserably at not worrying about his dreams. Two new characters are introduced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Each chapter is going to start with a little "dream sequence" from now on, which will help fill in some of the blanks as to Reiner's past. For the most part, these dreams will be very dark and unpleasant, so I'm just giving you guys a heads-up there. (And it's made worse by the fact that Reiner's just a kid throughout, oh my gosh I am a terrible person). There will be a bit of ReiBert fluff mixed in too, though.
> 
> Ugh, I don't know how I feel about this chapter. I know it seems like Reiner and Christa are really shallow characters right now, but I promise things will get more interesting as time passes. As early as the next chapter, in fact! Bert and Annie will be showing up soon as well. :)
> 
> Enjoy~

_In one of the earliest dreams Reiner can remember having, he is a very small child, definitely no more than six years old. He is being led down a long corridor, his ratty old sneakers squeaking against the shiny linoleum floors. The banks of fluorescent lights overhead give everything around the blond a dull, gray glow. Throughout all of his dreams, Reiner travels down corridors identical to this one. It makes the place he is in seem confusing and maze-like. He can never tell exactly where he is in the building, or even what kind of building it is. This lack of direction always lends the blond's surroundings a vaguely sinister air._

_The person leading Reiner along is another one of the faceless, nameless people in hospital scrubs who appear to work at whatever sort of place this is. He doesn't even glance back at the blond as they walk briskly along. Reiner stumbles a few times in his attempts to keep up. He is confused and more than a little scared, but the man he is with does nothing to reassure him._

_They walk through an entryway into a large white room, filled with bright lights that hurt Reiner's eyes. He squints against them, gagging when the heavy smell of ammonia and blood hits him. It is a terrible smell that sits thickly in Reiner's nose, and makes the blond's stomach churn with nausea. In the center of the room, the dark, blurry shape of a man sits hunched over a shiny aluminum examination table. He is prodding at something on the table with long, thin surgical instruments. Reiner can't make out what it is from where he is standing, but he can figure out that it is the source of that foul smell._

_The man puts his instruments down and turns to face them._ "I trust you have a very good reason for interrupting me?" _He says, sounding annoyed._

"I'm very sorry to disturb you, sir, but I've been told to bring this boy to you. He's supposedly a perfect candidate for the next round of experiments." _The man who brought Reiner here gestures down at him._

"Hmm." _The seated man gazes down at Reiner, who cringes back slightly out of fear. Something about this man seems incredibly cold and unapproachable. Dangerous, as well._ "Who sent you here with this boy?"

"Mr. Dawk, sir. He says this boy is a perfect fit for the Project. Supposedly, he was born nearby. Parents are dead; no other family that we could find."

 _The man heaves a deep sigh._ "Nile sent you, eh? Well, give the boy a general exam and bring him to a room. If he survives the initial round of shots, then I suppose he'll do."

"Of course, sir." _Reiner is led away. He looks over his shoulder once, briefly, and sees the man turn back to his work at the examining table without sparing Reiner so much as a second glance._

_Reiner is taken to another white room, this one with slightly less bright lights and no foul odors. His old, dirty clothes are removed, and the blond is given a thin paper gown to put on. The cold metal of the examination table he is made to sit on is uncomfortable against his skin. The entire room is a bit chilly, in fact, and Reiner shivers._

_Another shadowy person wearing a white lab coat comes in. She examines Reiner with cool, impersonal hands, but does not hurt him. The doctor, or at least, Reiner assumes that she is a doctor, gives him a basic examination. She takes his height, weight, and temperature, tests Reiner's movement, and looks into his throat, eyes, and ears with a small flashlight. All the while, the doctor jots notes down on a clipboard. When she is finished, another person comes in with a fresh set of clothes for Reiner to wear. The outfit is simple, consisting of a gray shirt, pants, and canvas slippers, but at least they are clean. Grateful for something to wear, Reiner puts the new clothes on quickly._

_The person who brought in the clothes waits for Reiner to get dressed, then takes his hand and leads him down the hall to a room. It is as depressingly austere as everything else the blond has seen so far. A threadbare rug has been tossed over the linoleum, and the only pieces of furniture are a small cot and a rickety wooden chest of drawers._

"Someone will come by later to give you something to eat," _Reiner's guide says tonelessly. Then they leave, shutting the door firmly behind them. The blond hears the loud clack of a bolt sliding into place. He is alone, and somehow this fact makes Reiner even more afraid. The anxiety he's felt bubbling beneath the surface all day bursts out into full-blown panic._

"Please don't leave me in here!" _Reiner cries out, running to the door and pulling on the handle with all the strength his tiny body can muster. He pounds against the wood with his tiny fists, yelling as loud as he can. The door rattles slightly, but does not move._

"Someone...please...please..." _Reiner's yells subside to hoarse whimpers. Suddenly exhausted, he slumps to his feet and leans his head against the cool wood of the door. Tears streak down his face, and the blond's thin shoulders are wracked with sobs._

**-x-**

As usual, Reiner spent several long minutes in the shower the next morning with his forehead pressed to the tiled wall, going through the details of his dreams over and over again in a desperate attempt to figure out what the tall boy looked like. He would focus on the tall boy's blurry image beside him as they played together on the floor of their cell with a few old, beat-up toy trucks. Reiner focused on the feel of the tall boy's longer body next to his smaller one, when they curled up together in one of the cots at night. How nice it felt to have the tall boy's gentle fingers wipe his tears away when he cried. There were times when Reiner felt that he'd almost gotten a concrete image in his mind, like the shape of the tall boy's smile, or the color of his eyes. But then it would slip away again, and all Reiner could see in his mind's eye was the tall, blurry outline of a child. It was incredibly frustrating, to put things mildly.

Reiner knew that there was no practical reason for mulling over the tall boy like this. After all, there was no way he was real. The first few times after Reiner woke up screaming in fear from his dreams, his worried parents had sent him to several psychologists. Unfortunately, the blond's lack of memory made it difficult for the specialists he saw to pinpoint where these dreams came from. After consulting his medical records from the state orphanage and speaking with his parents several times, the psychologists agreed that Reiner's nightmares were simply brought on by the stress of adapting to a new home and family, and would dissipate with time. Reiner didn't bother telling them that Petra and Auruo were the least stressful things that had ever happened in his life - that he could remember, anyway. The psychologists were never very interested in Reiner's dreams, once it became apparent that they weren't a problem that could be easily fixed.

Still, Reiner couldn't help but want to know what the tall boy looked like, every single part of him. The color of his hair, the shape of his face, how his eyes lit up when he laughed. The tall boy was the only happiness Reiner could find in his dark nighttime visions of sharp needles, blood, and endless gray corridors. Just focusing on the thought that he would see the tall boy again helped the boy Reiner was in his dreams to bear the worst of the pain inflicted upon him. The tall boy was almost like his guardian angel in these dreams. Reiner smiled slightly at how sappy the thought was. "I wish you were real," Reiner murmured to himself as he scrubbed his hair. "I wish I could talk to you in the real world."

There was a gentle rap on the door, and Reiner heard Petra's voice over the rushing sound of water from the showerhead. "Reiner? Honey? You'd better hurry it up in there or you'll be late for school."

"OK Mom, I'm coming out now!" Reiner called out, turning the water off and grabbing a towel off of the rack above the toilet. "You can tell Dad not to worry, I didn't use up all the hot water."

Petra's laugh as she headed down the stairs made Reiner smile, chasing the worries from his mind. There was no point in worrying over some stupid dreams that weren't even real. He had a great life, with great friends and a perfect, beautiful girlfriend. What mattered was the here and now. And right now, Reiner needed to get ready for school.

He ran a wet comb through his hair until the short blond strands spiked up in exactly the way Reiner wanted them to. After brushing his teeth, he went back down the hall and pulled on a sweater and a pair of jeans. He grabbed his backpack from where it was lying haphazardly beside his bed, and made sure all the required notebooks and textbooks and binders he would need for the day were inside. Thankfully they were, because the blond really didn't want to have to go through the disaster area that was his desk. Reiner slung his backpack over his shoulders and took the stairs two at a time heading down.

"Breakfast!" Petra called out as Reiner entered the kitchen, pushing a plate of warm buttered toast across the counter towards her son. "Eat it before you leave."

Reiner glanced at the kitchen clock. "But Mooommm," he groaned, "if I don't leave in five minutes I'll miss the bus."

"Well you should have thought of that before you decided to spend almost an hour in the shower, then," Petra replied sternly. The warmth in her eyes, however, told Reiner that she wasn't really mad at him. She almost never was, since Reiner was a generally quite well-behaved for a seventeen year-old. "Now sit and eat. You'll have enough time to get there, don't worry."

"Fine," Reiner sighed. He sat down at the kitchen counter and practically inhaled the food his mother had put in front of him. Sometimes having a nurse for a mom could be a pain. Despite her sweetness, Petra could be quite forceful in terms of getting Reiner and Auruo to do things like eat breakfast every morning and floss their teeth every night. 

"I'm working the graveyard shift at the hospital tonight, so your father's going to be cooking dinner," Petra said as Reiner got to his feet, stuffing the last bite of warm toast in his mouth. The blond turned to look at his mother with an expression of mock horror, as Auruo's terrible cooking skills were the stuff of legend in the Bossard-Ral household. The man was practically capable of burning water. Petra laughed at her son's expression. "Yes, that means the two of you can get pizza. Make sure there's at least a few slices with veggies on them though."

"Sure thing Mom. See ya later," Reiner laughed as he opened the front door and threw on his coat.

Petra gave her son a quick kiss on the cheek. "Have a good day at school, honey. I love you."

"Love you too!" Reiner called, hopping down the front porch steps and starting his walk towards the bus stop. It was late January, which meant that going outside felt like walking into a refrigerator. There were several feet of snow on the ground, and the sky above was the uniform pearly gray that it usually was in winter. At least the temperature wasn't in the negatives today. Being a small town up north, the winters in Trost were usually quite cold. The air nipped at the tips of his ears and nose, making Reiner wish he had grabbed a scarf on the way out. The blond shivered slightly, shoving his hands deep in his coat pockets in order to keep them warm.

The bus stop was at the corner next to the house of Reiner's best friend. They both played for their high school football team, the Trost Giants. Connie Springer was a running back, and Reiner was the quarterback. The two had met during their last year of middle school, when Reiner had accidentally hit Connie in the mouth with a football during tryouts for the high school team. Reiner had treated him to ice cream afterwards in order to apologize, and the two had been best friends ever since. 

A few other students were milling around the bus stop when Reiner arrived. They greeted him with friendly waves and smiles, and the blond made small talk with them for a few minutes until the bus pulled up. Just as the bus doors opened, so did the front door of the Springer's house. Connie came rushing outside, half a Twinkie sticking out of his mouth as he nearly tripped over his unlaced boot. Reiner took a window seat in the bus and watched with an amused smile on his face as Connie hopped across his front lawn while trying to tie his shoe and zip his backpack up at the same time. 

The bus driver waited with an annoyed look on his face as Connie got himself sorted at the foot of the bus steps before getting on. He was used to the boy's antics by now, as was everyone else. If Reiner had a dollar for every time Connie had missed the bus and had to be driven in to school by his frustrated older sister, he'd be a millionaire by now for sure. 

"Yo, Connie!" Reiner waved to the boy, who waved back as he took the Twinkie out of his mouth. Connie walked down the aisle and slid into the seat next to Reiner, breathing heavily as he let his backpack fall at his feet. "Jeez man, I thought you'd have to get a ride for sure. You almost missed the bus this time."

"Shut up," Connie grumbled, swatting idly at Reiner's arm. "Jenn would have flipped her lid if she had to drive me in again. She's got some big test at college today, Bio-something-or-other."

Reiner grunted slightly as he turned to look at his friend, now munching happily on his Twinkie. Connie's head looked slightly too large and round for his body, since he'd shaved all of his hair off into a buzz cut several years ago. Connie was one of the shorter boys in their class, and was pretty skinny as well. Next to Reiner's tall, bulkier body, he looked like a kid. Still, Connie was naturally fast, and his thin frame hid quite a bit of muscle. It was what made him a fantastic starting forward. Paired with Reiner's excellent performance as quarterback, the two of them had been nicknamed the "Dynamic Duo" by the rest of the football team.

"So what's up?" Connie asked, turning to meet Reiner's brown eyes with his own large golden ones. "Anything interesting happen last night?"

"You mean after I got off of Facebook chat with you around midnight?" Reiner laughed. "I went to bed, dude. Dad was about ready to take my computer away at that point."

"That's not what I meant! I meant, you know..." Connie leaned forward slightly to make sure that he wouldn't be heard - not that there was much chance of that, with how loud everyone else on the bus was in the mornings. "The _dreams._ Did you have any dreams?"

Reiner sighed. "Nothing new, if that's what you're getting at. Getting stabbed in the arm with needles by doctors again, and being taken back to that cell afterwards."

Connie was one of only a handful of people who knew about Reiner's strange dreams, the others being his parents and his girlfriend. Well, the psychologists he'd seen as a child knew too, obviously, but they didn't count. He'd been a bit nervous telling Connie at first, afraid that the smaller boy would laugh at him and think he was crazy. 

Actually, Connie was exactly the opposite. He was a bit _too_ interested in Reiner's dreams, always asking about them in the mornings and pushing the blond for details. Reiner found it more than a little annoying at times. But Connie had never doubted the sincerity of Reiner's dreams, had never brushed them off as products of stress or an overactive imagination as the blond worried he might. The smaller boy's commitment to figuring out the meaning behind the dreams was one of the many reasons they were best friends.

Predictably, Connie didn't let the topic go that easily. He almost never did when it came to the dreams. "I think you should look into this stuff some more, man. What if your dreams are trying to tell you something important? I mean, Jenn has this book on dream interpretation that I borrowed, and it says some interesting stuff..."

Reiner tuned out as Connie launched into a discussion about the meaning of syringes and needles in dreams. The blond turned his attention to the scene outside the window, idly watching the snowbanks stained an ugly, dirty gray by road traffic whiz past as the bus rumbled on towards the school. He occasionally let out a small grunt or hum to disguise the fact that he was no longer listening to Connie.

The truth was, he was really only interested in what the tall boy in his dreams meant. Reiner had never told anyone about the tall boy, not even his parents and _definitely_ not the psychologists. The tall boy was special. He was Reiner's, and only Reiner's. As childish as it might seem, Reiner didn't want to share the tall boy with others by telling them about him. He was almost like a warm and comfortable security blanket, that Reiner wanted to hold close and never let go.

He hadn't mentioned the dreams to his parents in years, actually, and had just let them think his strange nighttime visions had gone away. Reiner didn't want Petra and Auruo to worry about something they couldn't fix. He had long since stopped screaming after waking up from them as well, even though sometimes he wanted to.

The blond leaned his head against the window, the glass pleasantly cool against his warm skin. Reiner wondered, if he was somehow given the opportunity, would he give the dreams up? Never have horrible visions of being stabbed over and over by needles, of being held down and forcibly examined by people in white lab coats and scrubs. No more blood and screaming, no more huge, pulsing strands of muscle surrounding his body. No more tall boy, not ever again, for the rest of Reiner's life.

Reiner honestly didn't know. And that scared him more than any dream he'd ever had. Because it just wasn't healthy to obsess over someone you had only seen a blurry outline of in dreams, who was only supposed to be a figment of your imagination.

**-x-**

Ten minutes later, the bus pulled to a stop in front of Trost High School. Reiner and Connie let themselves get swept along with the stream of students exiting the bus. They joined the larger crowd of people heading quickly across the freezing grounds in small groups, heading towards the warm halls of the school building. As they walked along, Reiner and Connie were cheerfully hailed by many of their classmates:

"Yo Braun! Sick practice in gym the other day, you bench weights like a champ!"

"Hey Reiner, you finish that essay for Munson's class yet?"

"Hi Reiner, looking good! You too Connie!"

"Sup, Reiner and Connie! You guys are gonna thrash Sina in the next game, I just know it!"

Reiner and Connie greeted and chatted with the other students, trading stories and jokes, floating from group to group as they wandered the halls before the bell rang for homeroom. Finally, Reiner stopped at the foot of the main stairwell. "I'm gonna go see Christa now, Connie. I'll catch you up later, OK?"

Connie grinned with a knowing look in his eyes as he playfully punched Reiner's shoulder. "Sure thing, lover boy. See ya later!" The smaller boy waved as he turned around and headed back down the hallway to chat with a few other members of the football team.

 _Christa Renz,_ Reiner thought as he climbed the stairs. _My girlfriend._ The two of them had been dating for several months now, since the end of last year. However, Reiner still had trouble believing that she was really his. Christa was Captain of the cheerleading squad, and hands-down the most popular girl in the school. The prettiest too, in Reiner's opinion. Along with being popular, Christa also had the personality of an angel. She was always helpful and friendly to all students, no matter who they were. Whether by showing a lost freshman around on the first day of school, or staying after class in order to help out with a fundraising event, Christa was always kind and friendly. If there was ever such a thing as a perfect person in the world, it would be Christa Renz. And the entire student body of Trost High would agree that the cheerleading captain and the football team's quarterback made for a perfect match.

Christa was standing by her locker at the end of hallway, chatting with Mina Caroline, another member of the cheerleading squad. She managed to look pretty yet casual in a short white dress over black leggings, and grey boots with kitten heels. Her long golden hair was plaited behind her head in a neat French braid. Reiner grinned as he walked up behind her, leaning down to whisper in Christa's ear. "Hey babe."

Christa let out a short cry of surprise, turning around and laughing as she saw Reiner. Her bright blue eyes lit up as she smiled at him. "Hey yourself. Trying to give me a heart attack?"

Mina laughed, and winked knowingly at Christa. "I'll leave you two alone now. See you in French, Christa!" She waved and walked down the hallway, her long black braids swaying behind her as she went. 

Reiner leaned down to give his girlfriend a chaste peck on the lips. "You look lovely today, as usual."

Christa giggled. "Oh stop it, you." She playfully shoved Reiner's chest. "You're embarrassing me."

Reiner just laughed and wrapped his arms around Christa in a gentle hug. The smaller girl folded perfectly against his body, warm and soft. "So what do you say me and you skip first period and grab some coffee?"

"We really shouldn't, Reiner. Skipping school is wrong, and it would look awful on our records if we got caught." Christa looked up at her boyfriend with a mischievous little grin. "Lucky for you, I know a back way out."

The two of them had been skipping first period every other Wednesday since the school year had started. It had been like pulling teeth to get Christa to agree to skip school with him the first few times - she could sometimes be a bit _too_ goody-goody. Now, though, Christa had come to enjoy these little outings, and looked forward to them as much as Reiner did. When the weather was nice, Reiner and Christa would walk a few blocks to the park, where they would sit on a bench and talk quietly to each other. Now that it was too cold and snowy for that, they went to a local Starbucks instead.

"Let's go get Rob to sign us out then," Reiner said. Rob was one of Reiner's teammates, who volunteered in the main office for the Student Honors Society. He was the one who signed Reiner and Christa out on the days they skipped, and forged late passes for them to use when they came back. None of them had ever been caught, nor did they think they would be, as long as they were careful. Since he and Christa were such high-profile students, Reiner suspected that the school administration probably turned a blind eye to their little indiscretions.

"Let's," Christa agreed, slipping her hand comfortably into Reiner's as they set off down the hallway. 

Yes, Reiner's life was indeed perfect, and it seemed like it would stay that way for a long time to come. But little did he suspect the plans that were already set in motion to shatter that illusion of perfection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And then the Colossal Titan busted in and ate everyone (except for Reiner). xD
> 
> So Connie and Christa make their appearance! What role will they play in upcoming events? WHO KNOWS? (Well, I do, but I'm not telling yet. ^.^)
> 
> A couple of OCs will be mentioned throughout the fic, but none of them will have any real significance. They're basically just filler characters.
> 
> A big THANK YOU to everyone who's left comments and kudos so far. I love all of you guys so much. :D *kisses your faces*


	4. Chapter 2: Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christa appears to know more about Titans than she lets on. Reiner is confused. Meanwhile, Bertholdt and Annie arrive in Trost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor D is sick this week, so hopefully this chapter will cheer her up some! I hope you feel better soon, friend. :) (And at least I was able to go less than a month between updates this time, whoo!)
> 
> I made myself sad writing the "Reiner's Dreams" section of this chapter. Seriously, there are some major triggers in here for unethical scientific experimentation and torture of a small child. Also needles. (No rape or sexual stuff though, so we're safe on that count at least). Hopefully I can start working some kiddy!ReiBert fluff into the dreams soon. Also Annie. Because Annie. 
> 
> Hopefully this chapter will clear up a few worries about the ReiKuri in this fic as well. 
> 
> Enjoy~

_Reiner dreams of being held down on an operating table by a big, burly man wearing hospital scrubs. The man's arms seem like tree trunks compared to the blond's tiny, six-year-old body. He screams and thrashes about, waving his arms and thrashing his legs into the air._ "No! Stop it!" _Reiner howls, his face a mess of tears and snot. His throat feels raw and sore from screaming, although he should know by now that it is pointless to do so. No one is coming to his rescue._ "Please stop, I don't like it! Nonononono!"

"For fuck's sake!" _The man pinning Reiner down shouts at some people hovering in the background._ "Fucking tranquilize the little shit already!" _He grunts as one of Reiner's flailing feet happens to catch him across the jaw. It doesn't really hurt the much larger man, but it's still annoying._ "Keep still or I'll break your damn leg off!" _The man shouts, spittle flying into Reiner's face from his fat lips. It only causes the blond to cry out louder._

_One of Reiner's arms is grabbed by someone off to the side. He feels the cold touch of a cotton swab dipped in rubbing alcohol against his skin, followed by a sharp pain in his arm. The blond's head jerks to the side, and he whimpers at the sight of a long, sharp needle sticking out of his arm. The plunger of the attached syringe is pushed down, and the yellowish liquid inside is slowly injected into Reiner. Only a few minutes later, his body goes slack. His arms and legs feel like they've suddenly become lead weights, and the blond is unable to summon the strength to lift them. Reiner's eyelids become heavy, his sight a blurry mass of colors. The big man who had been holding Reiner down moments before is finally able to release him and step back, still muttering profanities under his breath._

_Reiner's unresponsive legs and arms are bound tightly to the operating table. The blond winces as more needles are stabbed into him, sending sharp pains lancing through his body. The bright lights overhead glint off of the metal syringes, filling Reiner's tired eyes with streaks of molten silver._

_The last thing Reiner hears before his eyes slip shut and darkness overtakes him is the slight click of a tape recorder being turned on, and a man's voice speaking into it:_ "Beginning Week 5 of Serum injections with Subject Reiner Braun, otherwise known as KNIGHT. KNIGHT has reacted positively to the Serum so far, and we are now doubling the injected dose..."

_Reiner will wake up an undetermined amount of time later in the cot of his cell, his arms and legs wrapped in clean white gauze and medical tape. His body and head will ache to the point where it hurts to so much as lift his hand up off the bedding. The blond will turn over onto his stomach and cry quietly into his pillow, until someone enters his cell a little later to coax Reiner into eating._

_He doesn't know how long he's been in this horrible place for. With only a child's loose concept of time, it feels like forever to Reiner. All he knows is that sometimes he is woken up by a small group of people in hospital scrubs, who carry him kicking and screaming down to a room with a metal operating table and bright overhead lights that hurt Reiner's eyes to look at. Then the blond is sedated and given some shots of "Serum," as the adults call it. Reiner has no idea what that is, and no one is willing to answer any of his questions. For a few days afterwards, Reiner feels horribly ill. Every bone and muscle in his body aches, and his head feels as if it will crack open at any moment and splatter Reiner's brains all over the dull gray carpeting of his cell. All he can do is lie on his cot and try not to move, except when he has to drag himself to the bathroom. People come in and out of the room in order to take Reiner's temperature, measure his heartbeat and breathing, and shine annoyingly bright lights into his eyes and ears. Reiner tries to console himself with the fact that it hurts a little less after the shots now than it did at first. At least he hasn't vomited up blood this time around._

_After Reiner is once again well enough to move around painlessly, his life becomes a bit more tolerable. The blond is given over to the care of people who aren't wearing long white coats or scrubs. They speak kindly to Reiner, treating him like a young boy, not simply a test subject to be shot up with fluids and measured endlessly. They ruffle his hair playfully and smile at him, call him nicknames like "champ" and "sport." These nicer adults give Reiner toys to play with - cars and trucks, plastic dinosaurs, and even a teddy bear to snuggle with at night. All of the toys are worn to some extent - the cars have badly chipped paint, some of the dinosaurs are missing limbs, and the teddy bear's fur is worn and faded. Reiner doesn't care, though. He thinks the toys are the greatest thing he's ever seen._

_The best days are when Reiner gets to play outside. He's taken to an empty asphalt lot, surrounded by high concrete walls topped with barbed wire. There isn't a single plant or flower to be seen anywhere around. However, it feels so good to just be outdoors, for Reiner to feel the warm sun on his skin and a cool breeze in his hair. To look up and see not gray ceilings or lights, but a clear blue sky and soft, puffy white clouds. Reiner runs around in circles, laughing happily. He races his cars and has his dinosaurs battle each other on the asphalt. He looks up at the sky and tries to make shapes out of the clouds. The blond is always disappointed when an adult comes to take him back inside and spoil the fun._

_On other days, a lady wearing a long skirt takes Reiner into a room with a table and chairs, and teaches him letters and numbers. They do simple addition and subtraction, and Reiner is given children's books to read. It's hard work sometimes, but Reiner is a determined boy and learns quickly. It feels good when he finally is able to write his name in loopy, messy lettering, or finish reading "Green Eggs and Ham." The lady who teaches Reiner also writes things on a clipboard as well, but by now Reiner is so used to adults doing that around him that he hardly takes any notice._

_Sometimes, though, the adults do some strange things. They ask Reiner about what kinds of thoughts and dreams he has. He is asked to lift small weights, to punch a heavy bag filled with rice, to pull on some ropes hooked up to a bleeping machine. His height and weight are measured every day. Sometimes Reiner will be taken into a room with lots of toys, and the adults will simply watch him as he plays, their pens busily scritch-scratching over clipboards as Reiner gallops around the room on a stick with a plush horse's head attached to it._

_One day, Reiner is woken up by a man walking into his room. He yawns and rubs his eyes, thinking that this is one of the various people who ferry him around from place to place throughout the day. But no. The moment Reiner gets a good look at the man, he freezes in place like a rabbit faced with the oncoming headlights of a car. There is nowhere to run, and the blond cannot bring himself to look away. For he recognizes this man, the man he saw on his very first day in this place. The man who was tearing something apart with surgical precision when the blond first saw him. The man who, even now, seems to exude a faint smell of blood and ammonia._

_The Director._

**-x-**

Reiner's relationship with Christa appeared, on the surface at least, to be a perfect one. They acted just like any other couple in public - holding hands, exchanging loving glances, and sneaking quick kisses when no one else was looking. Reiner took Christa out on dates to the movies, the beach, and to restaurants. He dutifully brought her flowers and chocolates every year on Valentine's Day. The two of them were basically shoo-ins for the Most Perfect Couple award in the senior yearbook.

Connie had once confessed that he was a bit jealous of Reiner, for winning the affections of the beautiful and kind head cheerleader. _"You guys must have the best sex,"_ Connie had said wistfully. Despite his position on the school football team, Connie had yet to find a girlfriend. He was close friends with Sasha Braus, another cheerleader, but the two of them didn't share anything more passionate than a mutual enjoyment of firing rubber bands against the back of Mrs. McDougal's head in study hall. 

The truth was, however, that Reiner had never had sex with Christa. They hadn't done much of anything, in fact, except for hold hands and cuddle. Even when Reiner kissed the blonde girl on the lips, it was always with their mouths firmly closed and not so much as a hint of tongue. Reiner had never even seen Christa naked, let alone had sex with her. Still, he didn't try and dissuade anyone from thinking that he and the blonde girl had "gone all the way." Truth be told, Reiner was a bit embarrassed of the fact that he, the star quarterback of the Trost High Giants, had never actually had sex with anyone. 

Actually, Reiner wasn't even sure he even _wanted_ to have sex with Christa. He thought she was pretty, of course, and plenty of times he'd wondered about what his girlfriend might look like with her clothes off. However, thinking about sex with Christa was a completely different story. Although Christa was a talented athlete, she was still much smaller than Reiner, barely even coming up to his shoulder in height. And she just looked so _delicate_. He couldn't help the childish worry that he would crush her, or split her in two with his dick if he tried to put it in. Nothing killed an erection faster than the concern that you would accidentally kill your girlfriend during intercourse.

Sometimes, Reiner wasn't even sure why he'd asked Christa out in the first place. The entire football team had been egging him on about it for months, telling the blond that he and Christa were perfect for each other and that _"she totally wants the D, man! Just ask her out and do it already!"_ Reiner had been quite surprised when Christa had actually said yes to his stammering, nervous proposal of going out on a date. He hadn't honestly felt that she'd been particularly interested in him beforehand. Perhaps the cheerleading squad had been pressuring her in a similar way to go out with him. 

It wasn't like Reiner had been exactly opposed to going out with Christa - she was quite pretty, after all. She had a nice smile, and a tinkling little laugh that was pleasant to listen to. Like Reiner, Christa's biological parents were dead. Unlike Reiner, however, she was also quite rich. Christa lived with her aunt, who was positively loaded, in a penthouse suite in the most expensive area of Trost. Reiner had only visited her there twice, since the place was a bit intimidating. Christa's aunt was nice, but Reiner had been terrified that he'd somehow damage one of the priceless Renoir paintings she'd showed him. Not to mention the live-in butler and maid, who had been hovering in the background the entire time. Reiner had always been more than happy to leave when the time came around to catch the bus back home.

Reiner had no idea what love was. It was never a topic he'd talked to anyone at length about. But he had a nagging, murky suspicion in the back of his mind that he didn't love Christa. Not in the ways boys seemed to love girls in the sappy romance novels he'd flipped through once or twice at the school library, while carefully secluded in a back corner and keeping alert for anyone who might come by. Thinking about Christa didn't set a fire in Reiner's belly. He wasn't consumed with lust every time he thought about her. And he certainly didn't think that he would die without Christa in his life. And a good boyfriend wouldn't surreptitiously keep checking his phone during a date for texts from Connie.

Still, Reiner stayed with Christa anyway. The kind of high school drama and rumors that were bound to accompany a break-up just weren't worth it to him. Besides, he felt comfortable with Christa. She understood him in a way that few others did. He could tell by the way she looked at him sometimes. Her bright blue eyes seemed to say, _I know how you're feeling, Reiner. You don't need to explain anything to me. I understand._ It was why Christa was the only person besides Connie who knew how much Reiner's strange dreams still affected him. Like Connie, Christa hadn't freaked out or called Reiner a crazy person. She'd simply smiled, and told her boyfriend that she was always open to talking about the dreams if he felt like it. Unlike Connie, though, she never brought the dreams up unless Reiner did. He had to admit that Christa was much less annoying in that respect, at least.

Most of Reiner and Christa's dates were spent in a kind of comfortable silence. The two of them were mostly quiet as they walked the few blocks to Starbucks, loosely holding hands and sharing idle chatter about football and cheerleading practice. They entered the warm coffee shop and ordered their drinks (a latte for Reiner and a small black coffee with two sugars for Christa). It wasn't until Reiner and Christa sat down at a small table near the back, warm coffee cups in hand, that Reiner became aware of the news report currently playing on the TV overhead. 

"...In other news, we've just received a new report on the violent and bloody civil war that has been devastating the nation of Chlorba," said the pretty auburn-haired woman sitting at the news desk. "After a stalemate that lasted months, causing hundreds of civilian deaths, two of the military's best Titans have finally managed to break the blockade set up by rebel forces. This blockade was preventing necessary food, water, and medical aid from reaching needy citizens at the heart of Chlorba. For more, let's go to Jon Reynolds out in the field. Jon?"

The camera switched to a handsome older man standing in front of a pile of rubble, his hair ruffled by a stiff breeze. The rubble might have been a building at some point, Reiner couldn't really tell from the small TV screen. "Thanks Samantha," said the reporter, speaking loudly into a microphone. "As you can see, Chlorba's civil war has caused untold damage to this small nation, in both a high death toll and in damage to the country's infrastructure. However, a week ago our nation's military decided to intervene on behalf of Chlorba's people. Two of our best Titans, COLOSSUS and LADY, managed to break past the rebellion's defenses and devastate their base inside the city. The few rebels that remained are now on the run from Chlorba's military, which has regained control of the city. As of today, peace has been restored and basic services are being returned to the citizens..."

"You don't like them, do you." Christa's soft voice snapped Reiner's attention away from the TV. He turned to see his girlfriend staring intently at him from across the table, her coffee sitting untouched beside her hand.

"What?" Reiner looked at Christa in confusion. "Why wouldn't I like the Titans? They're the best thing our military's got for ending conflicts all over the world. They're like...I dunno, a perfect weapon or something." He forced a smile onto his face, but it was clear that Christa saw right through it.

"The Titans. You don't like them," Christa said, continuing to look at Reiner with that same intensity in her bright eyes. "You get this uncomfortable look on your face when they get brought up in conversation. Not to mention that you always have to go to the bathroom if we talk about Titans in class."

Reiner's eyes shifted from Christa's face to the coffee cup held tightly in his fingers. It was amazing, really, the ease with which Christa could pick up on how he was feeling. Even without looking at her, Reiner could still feel the heat of Christa's gaze on him from across the table. "I dunno," he muttered, distracting himself with a sip of coffee. "I guess...I think Titans are just really creepy. I mean, they look... _distorted,_ somehow. Like they used to be people, and turned into monsters...but that doesn't make any sense, does it?"

Christa finally took her eyes off her boyfriend's face, now looking at her own coffee cup. "I think that makes a lot of sense, actually," she murmured. "There is something about Titans that seems monstrous." Her fingers clenched and unclenched against the tabletop. "But...at the same time, I think that there's something very human about Titans as well. I bet they're more human than people realize, actually. Do you understand, Reiner?"

"Uh...not really?" Reiner was feeling pretty confused at this point. Christa had never brought up the subject of Titans around him before. She had never been so cryptic with him before, either. Looking at the way his girlfriend's brow furrowed, how her fingers had shifted to nervously fiddling with the lid of her coffee cup, Reiner had to wonder why Christa felt so strongly about Titans. "It's fine if you feel that way though," he added quickly, not wishing to upset the blonde girl. "I mean, if you like Titans, that's great. They are really cool weapons, after all."

Christa sighed slightly, her gaze again falling upon Reiner's face. "Are you still having those dreams, Reiner?" She asked quietly, leaning forward a bit so that Reiner could hear her. "The ones where you're in the hospital, or wherever, and getting shot up with drugs?"

"What?" Reiner could feel the fine hairs on the back of his neck start to prickle with nerves. Christa had never brought up Reiner's dreams before. The two of them rarely talked about his dreams at all, and when they did, Reiner always brought the topic up first. "Yeah, but that's nothing new. I've been having them since I can remember." He shifted nervously in his seat. 'Is something wrong, Christa? You're acting kind of weird..."

Christa laughed nervously. "Am I? I'm sorry." She smiled, but it looked more than a little forced. "It's nothing, really! Nothing at all. We were just talking about Titans in Social Studies yesterday, and that news report just brought the topic back into my mind, I guess. Have I upset you?" Christa's expression took on a note of concern, her hand reaching out across the table to gently rest atop Reiner's.

"It's fine, don't worry about it." Reiner replied, smiling back at his girlfriend as he took another sip of coffee. The two of them finished their drinks in an awkward silence. Reiner's hand felt itchy and sweaty under Christa's, but he still didn't move it. The two of them didn't say anything more about Titans as they walked back to the school, but the small talk they made felt strained and uncomfortable all the same. Reiner had never felt more relieved to say goodbye to his girlfriend as they parted ways to go to class.

**-x-**

Much later that afternoon, after the final bell had rung and Reiner and his fellow students had gone home for the day, a sleek black sports car was driving up the main road leading to Trost High School. The car looked a bit out of place in this section of Trost, as it was clearly an expensive model. The paint job was new, with a perfectly glossy sheen. If anyone on the street had been able to look through the windows, which were heavily tinted, they would have seen a gorgeous leather interior, and a dashboard equipped with a satellite radio and GPS navigation. Despite the luxuriousness of the car, however, the young man currently sitting in the backseat looked anything but happy to be there. 

Bertholdt Fubar shifted uncomfortably against the leather seat, trying to make himself comfortable. Partly this was because he had a lot of trouble getting comfortable in cramped spaces like the inside of a car. Bertholdt was quite a bit taller than the average person. His entire body was long and narrow, all lean muscle and long limbs. Even Bertholdt's face and nose were long and narrow, in fact. Right now, his head was practically brushing the car's ceiling, and his knees were bumping uncomfortably up against the back of the seat in front of him. And he had been sitting this way for the entire hour-long drive into Trost.

Still, Bertholdt might not have found the car ride entirely unpleasant, if it weren't for the fact that it was being driven by one of the people he hated most in the world. Immaculate as always in a freshly cleaned suit, Nile Dawk still looked about the same as when he had been speaking to the Director about Reiner Braun five years earlier. Only a few more wrinkles around the man's eyes betrayed his age. However, his clean appearance didn't change the fact that Nile was one of the most morally reprehensible, disgusting men that Bertholdt had ever known, and the tall boy had spent his entire life around morally reprehensible and disgusting people. The fact that Nile went to such great pains to make himself look good only made it worse. 

It didn't help that Hitch was sitting in the front seat next to Nile. As Nile's favorite personal assistant, Hitch often tagged along on official business with him. Right now she was idly fiddling with a strand of her short, wavy, ash-blond hair with one hand, while a perfectly manicured finger of the other was tapping out a text message to someone on her iPhone. It was probably her latest boyfriend, as Hitch seemed to go through men like they were toilet paper. Although Hitch wasn't as ruthless as her boss, she was still the most self-centered, gossipy, and annoying person Bertholdt knew. One time, for example, after picking him up from a mission, Hitch had left Bertholdt standing out in the cold and dark for over an hour while she stopped in a Lord and Taylor's to "just take a quick look around." To add insult to injury, she'd made Bertholdt carry her bags back to the car afterwards. It had taken some great self-restraint not to simply shove her into the gutter then. 

Bertholdt's eyes shifted to the right to look at the one person in the car who he didn't mind being with. His sister in all but blood, Annie Leonhart was gazing out the window with an expression of extreme boredom etched against her stern profile. She was gazing disinterestedly out the window at the cars and buildings passing by, cheek propped up against her fist. Upon noticing that Bertholdt was looking at her, Annie turned to give him a small smile. It was just the tiniest quirk of the lips, but it reassured Bertholdt all the same.

"Turn here, Nile," Hitch instructed, just as the GPS said the same thing. 

"I _know,_ don't nag me," Nile muttered, annoyed.

"Honestly, if you'd just taken that shortcut a mile back like I said, we would have been here already," Hitch muttered, her finger still tap-tapping away at the screen of her phone.

"I thought I told you to be quiet?" Nile snapped. He and Hitch were always like this, arguing between each other like an old married couple. It made Bertholdt wonder why Nile bothered to keep her on as an assistant. He didn't even know what kind of work Hitch did for Nile, since she only ever seemed interested in boys and shopping.

Nile pulled the car up in front of the school building. Trost High was a rather dull-looking place, Bertholdt thought. It was simply a three-story concrete building, with the state flag out front flapping listlessly in the cold winter breeze. A blue and white banner hanging over the front doors read GO GIANTS! in large capital letters.

Nile turned his head around to face Bertholdt and Annie, which was the most attention he had given them all day. "You two, come with me."

Bertholdt wasn't thrilled about going anywhere with Nile, but right now his animosity towards the man was trumped by his desire to get out of the car. The tall boy quickly unbuckled his seatbelt and stepped out into the cold winter air. He stretched his arms and legs, sighing slightly as the kinks in his muscles worked themselves out.

Annie went to stand next to Bertholdt, looking bored and angry as always. Nile stood facing them both, glaring at them as if Bertholdt and Annie were puppies who had just pissed on the living room carpet. "I assume you both know why we are here?" He asked.

"Yes, actually," Annie said dryly. "It was all anyone talked about during the helicopter ride back from Chlorba, after all."

"We're here to get Reiner back," Bertholdt said quietly, clenching his hands into fists at his side. It was the first time he had actually spoken what their mission here in Trost was aloud. Saying the words filled him with all kinds of emotions, from happiness and excitement to anxiety and worry. Bertholdt swallowed hard, feeling a few beads of sweat trickle down the back of his neck. 

Nile's attention turned to Bertholdt. "Very good," he said. "You're here to return Reiner Braun to our - which is to say, the military's - custody. The Director has determined that there is no further use in allowing him to live among the civilians here in Trost, and it's high time that he became a warrior in the service of our interests. Just like the two of you."

Bertholdt's self-control had never been as good as Annie's. Combined with the fact that he'd been on edge ever since the Director had told him and Annie that they needed to bring Reiner back, Bertholdt finally snapped. 'How dare you!" He yelled, his arms practically trembling with fury at his sides. "How dare you use us for this! Reiner's probably happier here than he ever would be with people like _you!_ How can you tell us to take him away from all that? I knew you were monsters, but _this_...this is just inhuman!"

Nile's face twisted into an angry snarl. He strode forward and slapped Bertholdt across the face, hard enough so that the tall boy's face snapped to the side. Bertholdt cried out in pain, even though he knew by this point that it was useless. At this time of day, there was no one outside the school to see or hear them. Yet the moment after Nile's hand left Bertholdt's cheek, the bright red mark he'd left there started to fade. Thin wisps of white smoke rose from the skin as Bertholdt's regenerative powers kicked in. In a few moments, he knew that his cheek would look perfectly fine.

That didn't mean that the slap hadn't hurt though. Bertholdt pressed his hand against the cheek, trying to dull the stinging pain. The skin beneath his fingers felt uncomfortably warm as it healed. Annie rushed to Bertholdt's side and gripped his arm, while sending Nile an angry glare of her own.

"You ungrateful little shit," Nile hissed angrily. "Here I am, giving the two of you an opportunity to see your _dear_ friend again, and yet you continue to defy me! Perhaps you'd like me to remind you what the price is for disobedience?"

"No!" Annie blurted out, her fingers tightening their hold on Bertholdt's arm. The girl's cool facade had broken for the moment, her pale blue eyes now filled with fear and concern. "Please, Mr. Dawk, we're at a school! Someone could come out and see us at any moment! Just...just leave Bertholdt alone, he didn't mean it. He's just a little excited at seeing Reiner again. It's been years, after all..."

Bertholdt glared at Nile with pure rage in his eyes, but didn't say or do anything else. The feel of Annie against him was an uncomfortable reminder that if the tall boy did something wrong, he wouldn't be the only one to pay the price. Nile took a deep breath, his features relaxing into their typical smug look. "Very well, then," he said. "I have an appointment with the school secretary in order to get the two of you registered for classes here. While in her office, I will be doing all the talking. The two of you will not speak unless directly addressed, do I make myself clear?"

Bertholdt was still too angry to speak, so Annie did instead. "Yes sir, we understand."

"Good. Hitch, go park the car." Nile addressed his assistant, who had leaned over to watch everything from the driver's side window. "Now follow me, you two. And get a hold of yourself, Bertholdt, it won't look good for the school officials to see you so angry."

Bertholdt took a few deep breaths, clenching and unclenching his fists in order to calm down. Once he was able to school his expression into a neutral one, the tall boy turned to follow Nile and Annie inside. _Don't worry, Reiner._ Bertholdt thought. _I'll figure out some way to save you from all this. I promise._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There'll be lots more Bertholdt and Annie in the next chapter. Some Bertholdt and Reiner interactions will start up in the next chapter as well! :D
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who leaves kudos and comments. You guys are all the best, and you're kind words are the fuel that keeps this fic rolling. *hugs tightly*


	5. Chapter 3: Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reiner dreams of his first transformation. Meanwhile, Bertholdt and Annie are enrolled in school and settle in to their new apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *peeks head cautiously out from around a corner*
> 
> I've been a bad, bad author, I know. I didn't update this fic for a month. u.u I found a job and started working, so that's cut into my time to write somewhat. Not to mention, a heaping helping of laziness and hours spent watching Twitch Plays Pokemon have certainly been detrimental as well. Please don't hate me, lovely readers... :(

_The Director led Reiner firmly by the arm down one of the many long gray corridors in the building, walking so swiftly that Reiner stumbled over himself trying to keep up. The blond boy whimpered, his small body practically shaking with fright. He was too frightened to even scream or cry out, for fear of what the man might do to him of he did. All that Reiner could do was hope that he was dreaming. He would wake up in a few minutes on his dreary little bed in his dreary little cell, and someone would be hovering over him with a breakfast tray. The blond hoped that he would wake up soon._

_They entered another one of the clean white rooms with a metal examination table, cabinets full of various medical paraphernalia, and overly-bright lights. The Director hoisted Reiner up onto the metal table, ignoring the slight squeak of fear the blond let out as he did so. Reiner looked on with wide, worried eyes as the Director opened one of the cabinets and removed a surgical scalpel. The bright lights reflecting off the metal gave the scalpel an almost sinister gleam, as the Director dipped it in a small basin of alcohol and put on a pair of latex gloves. Then he took one of Reiner's arms, rolled back the boy's sleeve, and ran the scalpel across Reiner's skin in a neat, crimson line._

_Reiner cried out in pain as the scalpel tore through his flesh. Blood dripped from the wound and ran down his arm in bright red tears. It_ hurt, _and Reiner had no idea why the Director had even done it. He didn't know why anyone did all these terrible things to him. Had Reiner done something bad? Was he being punished? It seemed unfair to him that the adults would punish him, and not even tell Reiner what he'd done wrong._

_After a few moments, Reiner's arm began to feel warm. So warm, in fact, that he had to wonder if the appendage was going to burn right off. He gasped, bright amber eyes widening in amazement and terror as steam began to rise from his cut, floating up to the ceiling in thin white curls. The blond's arm began to tingle with what felt like the worst case of pins and needles ever, as Reiner's skin began to knit itself back together. The skin around his wound went from bright red to pale pink as it healed, the blood disappearing in little puffs of hot steam. A few moments later, the last of the steam dissipated and Reiner's arm looked to be good as new. There wasn't even any blood left, not a single trace left to show that his skin had ever been marred in the first place._

_Reiner couldn't move. He couldn't even speak. His mouth opened and closed a few times, but no sounds came out. At eight years old, he knew that something like this wasn't supposed to happen when you hurt yourself. All the children's books Reiner had read said that if you got cut, you were supposed to find an adult to wash and bandage it. Adults weren't supposed to be the ones hurting you._

_The Director smiled widely at Reiner's completely healed arm. His eyes had taken on a manic gleam, causing the blond to cringe away from him. This was difficult to do when the man was still gripping his arm, however._ "Oh, yes," _the Director murmured._ "Yes, indeed. This has been a wonderful success. You've taken to the Serum quite nicely, my boy..."

_The Director gestured towards the door, and a man wearing medical scrubs walked in. Clutched tightly in his hands was Reiner's beloved, ratty old teddy bear. Upon seeing the stuffed animal, Reiner cried out, reaching his arms towards the bear. After what had just happened, the blond wanted nothing more than to curl up in his bed with his bear. The toy represented comfort and familiarity, something that he desperately wanted right now._

_The man holding Reiner's bear stepped back, looking visibly nervous._ "Uh, Sir, are you sure that this is a good idea - "

"Quiet." _The Director snapped, cutting the man off mid-sentence. He turned to speak to Reiner in a softer voice._ "You want your bear, don't you, Reiner?" _At the boy's frantic nod, he pointed over to the man in medical scrubs._ "Go and get it, then."

 _Reiner didn't even try to puzzle out what the Director was trying to do. Right now, he just wanted his bear. The blond jumped off the table and ran towards the man in scrubs. However, the man stepped away quickly, holding Reiner's bear up just out of reach. His expression was even more nervous now. Reiner could see beads of sweat running down the side of the man's face, and one of his eyes was twitching slightly._ "Sir, please, I don't - "

"Do you want the bear, Reiner?" _The Director spoke loudly, drowning out his subordinate's words._ "You know what you have to do in order to get it."

"Please, give me back my teddy!" _Reiner implored the man in scrubs, stretching his arms up as high as he could in order to reach the bear. The man only moved away again, still holding the bear out of reach of Reiner's gangly arms._ "I want my bear!"

"Do it, Reiner!" _The Director was practically shouting now._ "Get that toy back from him! You know what you need to do!"

"GIVE ME MY BEAR!" _Reiner shouted. He didn't know what was going on anymore. Why was the Director shouting at him? Why was the other man refusing to let Reiner have his bear? It was all so confusing. The blond let out a scream of frustration, sinking down to his knees as he clutched at his head._

"CHANGE, BOY!" _The Director yelled._ "CHANGE! You know how to get what you desire! DO IT!"

 _A sudden rush of anger coursed through Reiner. For the first time in his life, the blond's primary emotions weren't fear and confusion. No, now he was angry. He was furious at what was being done to him, at the games and manipulations that were going on around him. At what was being done_ to _him, without his consent._

_As if on instinct, Reiner lifted his hand to his mouth and bit down. Only one thought was running through his head: to get back what had been taken from him._

_The room was suddenly filled with light, so bright and intense that Reiner had to shut his eyes against it. He dimly thought that he heard the Director and the man in scrubs cry out in shock, but his mind was quickly eclipsed by a new sensation. Something was growing and wrapping itself around him, something warm and pulsing and strangely alive. Reiner shrieked, and threw his arm away from his body in panic. He could feel the appendage growing and changing rapidly as it stretched away from him, and he whimpered in fear._

_Just as suddenly as it had started, the light faded away. Reiner slowly opened his watering eyes, blinking the dancing after-images away from his eyes. The first thing he saw once his eyesight had recovered was a hand. However, this hand was at least two or three times the size of Reiner's entire body, made of pulsing muscle and covered with plates of hard, white bone. Each of the five giant fingers were clenched in a great fist, the huge bony knuckles of which had created deep cracks in the plaster wall behind them. And clutched in the center of this monstrous fist, looking comically small amidst all the pulsing muscle and bone, was the man in hospital scrubs who had been keeping Reiner's bear from him._

_More soft whimpers escaped Reiner's throat as he watched the man's body pathetically twitching in the grip of that great hand. The man's eyes were practically bulging out of his head, his breath coming in frenzied, shallow gasps. His skin had turned a horrible, blotchy shade of reddish-purple from lack of air. The man's mouth opened, but he was only able to make a few choking noises as blood spurted out of his mouth. It landed in great splatters on the hand around him, creating dark stains against the white bone._

_The man's choked noises grew more panicked as he tried desperately to escape from the giant hand that held him. However, it was all a futile effort. After a few more seconds, the man's eyes rolled up in the back of his head. His movements slowly subsided, as did his frenzied breathing. The man went limp in the grip of those huge fingers, blood still trickling slowly down his chin._

_Reiner stared at the corpse before him, the blond's feet seemingly rooted to the ground with shock. He kept screaming at his legs to move, for his mouth to open, for his eyes to close. Anything to get rid of the horrible vision of death that was before him. But he could only stand there, unblinking and unmoving, as harsh breaths filled his lungs._

_Slowly, almost as if on their own accord, Reiner's eyes looked to where the hand was attached to a giant arm, a great pillar of softly pulsing muscle and long plates of bone. The blond could feel this pulsing inside of him, in time with his own frantically beating heart. His gaze traveled along the ropy strands of flesh, back to where they started..._

_...At Reiner's own shoulder. Those giant muscles and bones had seemingly engulfed his own arm, creating the monstrous appendage before him. The hand that was currently gripping a dead man._

_Dimly, Reiner was aware of someone screaming. Loud, high-pitched screams of complete terror and panic. He still couldn't move, couldn't even turn his head to see who it was who was screaming. Was it the Director? Was he dying too?_

_The door burst open, and a group of people in medical scrubs poured inside the room, all shouting and barking out orders to each other. Out of the corner of his eye, Reiner saw the Director pointing and gesturing to them. None of their frenzied babble, it seemed, could drown out that awful screaming. Reiner wished it would stop._

_It wasn't until two people pushed Reiner to the ground and jabbed a needle into his arm, until his vision started to go blurry and black, that Reiner realized the one screaming with such fear and intensity had been himself._

_He wasn't sure how long he'd been unconscious for. It could have been days, or weeks, or mere minutes. When Reiner finally did wake up, however, he was lying in his bed in his cell. Both his arms were normal, human-sized arms, with no trace of giant muscles or bones, or any kind of wounds at all, actually. Even better, Reiner's teddy bear was lying next to him on the pillow. Relieved, the blond scooped the toy up and cuddled it to his chest. It had all been a dream, hadn't it? The dead man, the giant arm, the bright light...it had all been a terrible nightmare. Reiner had never been more happy to be in his cell, whole and unharmed._

_The door to Reiner's cell quietly swung open, and the blond watched with growing horror as the Director walked in._ "Well, Reiner," _he said cordially, as if he was greeting a colleague for breakfast and not speaking to a frightened eight-year old boy._ "You've done quite well. Even a partial transformation at your age is an impressive feat indeed. A shame about poor Roberts, but it can't be helped now. Yes, I think that with a bit of training and practice you'll be able to make a fine Titan, indeed."

_In that horrifying moment, Reiner knew without a shadow of a doubt that what had happened was all real. It was happening to him, and it would continue to happen to him until the day he died. And all Reiner could do in response to this revelation was close his eyes and scream._

**-x-**

The secretary was a dowdy older woman, with frizzy, gray-streaked hair tied in a messy bun behind her head. A few loose strands had escaped her hair tie in order to frame the woman's tired eyes and pinched face. She was staring blankly at her computer screen, and didn't even notice when Nile walked in through the open office door, with Bertholdt and Annie trailing in after him. Nile stopped in front of her desk and softly cleared his throat, causing the secretary to finally look up with a mildly surprised expression on her face. "Ah - I'm sorry," the woman said, in a dry, whispery voice. "I get so caught up in my work sometimes, I don't know which way is up!" She gave a quiet little chuckle, gesturing weakly at her computer.

Nile's lips twitched upwards into a slight smile. "That's quite all right, ma'am," he said, ever the smooth and falsely courteous operator. "My name is Nile Dawk. I have an appointment with a Mrs. Doyle for this afternoon?" Bertholdt couldn't help the slight frown that crossed his lips as he watched the secretary stand up and smile back. People who didn't know how cruel Nile actually was, like he and Annie did, were unfortunately easily taken in by the man's suave demeanor.

"Yes, that would be me," the secretary said. "And these are the children you want to enroll in school here, I presume?"

"They certainly are." Nile gestured at Annie and Bertholdt, the false smile still plastered across his lips. "My new foster children, Bertholdt Fubar and Annie Leonhart. Say hello, kids." Nile's face took on a slightly threatening air as he looked at the two Titan shifters, a silent warning as to what would happen if they tried to disobey him.

It took every ounce of self-control Bertholdt had to force the angry scowl he wanted to make into a polite little smile, while Annie gave a half-hearted little wave in Mrs. Doyle's direction. Bertholdt clenched his fingers slightly against his pants, anger coursing through him as he thought of how powerless he and Annie were in this situation. Having to play the part of grateful little orphan kids for a gade-A creep like Nile...it was just disgusting. _It's for Reiner,_ Bertholdt thought firmly, in order to calm himself down. _I can put up with this if it means that I get to see Reiner again._

"Why don't you three come with me into the back office, and we'll get all the paperwork sorted," Mrs. Doyle said as she got up from her desk. Nile, Bertholdt, and Annie followed her into a small, cramped room that just barely had room for a small desk, a computer, and three rather dented folding chairs. Mrs. Doyle shuffled behind the desk, absentmindedly wiping her hands against her shapeless gray skirt as she sat down and booted up the computer. She gestured for Nile, Bertholdt, and Annie to sit down as well. Bertholdt's folding chair gave an ominous little creak as he lowered himself into it, but luckily it didn't collapse.

There was an awkward silence as the secretary tapped a few keys, muttering under her breath as she tried to get the right program to open. It felt uncomfortably warm in the small room, perhaps because of how cramped it was. Bertholdt surreptitiously wiped his forehead, where sweat was starting to bead at an alarming rate. He'd always been more prone to sweating than Annie or Reiner, perhaps because his Titan form was so much larger than theirs. It was quite annoying at times like this, when Bertholdt had to look at least somewhat presentable.

"Ah, there we go," Mrs. Doyle smiled, as she had finally managed to get the school directory up. "Now could you tell me a little bit more about your relationship to these children, Mr. Dawk? It's school protocol to fully determine the nature of a guardian's relationship to a child, I'm sure you understand."

"Of course," Nile replied politely. "Bert and Annie were living at the St. Rose Orphanage until around two weeks ago, when I was given the opportunity to foster them. I believe I faxed all the important paperwork to the school a few days ago?"

Bertholdt had to keep himself from snorting derisively. The military could draw up any kind of paperwork it damn well wanted to. Only a highly trained professional would ever be able to tell it was a fake, and the TITAN program bribed those kinds of people quite highly to stay quiet. There was never any shortage of money for one of the military's most successful programs, after all.

"Yes, yes, I have it all right here on file," Mrs. Doyle said absentmindedly as she clicked on various icons. Bertholdt saw a grainy, poor-quality photo of himself and Annie pop on screen, with the words: "St. Rose Orphanage" in neat block lettering underneath. Despite his profound hatred for the TITAN program, the tall boy couldn't help but be a little impressed at just how thoroughly the military had managed to create fake identities for the two of them. It was a little scary, really. 

"Now, I just need you to fill out a few forms for me, Mr. Dawk, and then you'll be free to go." The secretary got up and went back out into the main office, returning after a few moments with a manila folder in hand. She laid it on the desk in front of Nile, along with a pen. The man flashed her another polite smile before flipping open the folder and starting to write. Bertholdt risked a quick peek at the forms, curious about what exactly they were about, but it looked like pretty standard stuff. Address forms, medical information on him and Annie, and a requisition for their academic histories to be sent to the school. It was all pointless, of course, as they would be out of here with Reiner in tow by the end of the month.

The silence in the room was starting to feel oppressive, broken only by the slight scratching of pen against paper and the tapping of keys as the secretary browsed through information on the computer. Annie was staring down at her lap, looking bored as usual. Bertholdt nervously rubbed the back of his neck, his palm starting to feel uncomfortably moist from the sweat there.

Finally, Nile finished the paperwork and slid the folder back across the desk to Mrs. Doyle. "Everything seems to be in order, then," the secretary said, as she flipped quickly through the forms. "You three are free to go. Annie and Bertholdt can come to my office before homeroom tomorrow, in order to pick up their schedules. The teachers have all been informed already, of course, and will make sure to get these two up to speed in no time." Mrs. Doyle smiled in Annie and Bertholdt's direction. "Welcome to Trost High, you two. I'm sure you'll both have a lovely time here."

"I'm certain they will as well," Nile said. "Bertholdt and Annie have always been such _accommodating_ children, after all. Isn't that right?" He glanced at Bertholdt and Annie, the warning in the man's eyes simply magnified by the smile stuck on his face. The two Titan shifters merely nodded, before following Nile out of the office and back out to the parking lot. Overall, the whole thing had taken less than an hour, but Bertholdt still felt exhausted by the charade nonetheless.

Hitch was leaning against the car, idly smoking a cigarette while tapping against the screen of her phone. _"Finally,"_ she huffed upon seeing Nile, Bertholdt, and Annie approach. "You guys were in there _forever._ How'd it go?"

"Don't lean on my car if you're smoking, you'll make the whole thing reek," Nile snapped. Hitch rolled her eyes and snorted, but flicked the cigarette onto the pavement nonetheless. "Things went quite well, actually. The secretary was an idiot, but at least she'll get the paperwork processed. Bertholdt and Annie will be starting school tomorrow. Now get in the car, we need to drop these two off at their new apartment." 

**-x-**

The apartment was located at the end of a small, dingy-looking side street, on the top floor of an equally dingy-looking building. It was the kind of place where drug deals went on during broad daylight, and one would be hard-pressed to find an honestly employed person anywhere nearby. Bertholdt had a feeling that he and Annie would be the only two people on that street who would even be going to school in the first place. If they had been normal teenagers, Bertholdt might have been concerned about getting into fights or worse. However, besides their Titan shifting abilities, Bertholdt and Annie were both highly accomplished fighters. He doubted that either of them would have anything to worry about.

Predictably, Nile didn't even bother walking them in. He simply pulled the car up to the end of the street and popped the trunk so that Annie and Bertholdt could get their luggage, which mostly consisted of clothes, school supplies, and toiletries. All of it fit into three worn old suitcases. "Your apartment is on the top floor, Room 301," Nile said, handing Annie and Bertholdt each a set of keys out of the car window. "You'll find around 1500 dollars in cash in a shoebox in the hall closet. This money is to be used for _essentials only._ If the two of you run out, tough luck, because you aren't getting anymore.

"I'll bring a small squad to this exact spot at five PM in one month's time. When I arrive, I assume that the two of you will have Reiner in custody and we can return back to the TITAN Project HQ. I don't think I need to reiterate the consequences for failure."

Annie, apparently having reached her breaking point for the day, flipped Nile the bird before turning around and marching down the street towards the apartment building with her ratty duffel bag in tow. Nile scowled after her retreating form. "See that you're able to bring Reiner here on schedule, _COLOSSUS_ ," Nile addressed Bertholdt, smirking a little at the way the tall boy's eye twitched at the name. Berthodlt loathed being addressed by his Titan's name, and Nile knew it.

"Come _on,_ Nile, let's go already," Hitch whined. " _Real Housewives of Shiganshina_ is on tonight, and I don't remember if I set the DVR or not."

With one last annoyed huff, Nile rolled up the car window with the push of a button and sped off around the corner and out of sight, leaving Bertholdt to pick up his bags and make his way down the street and into the apartment building. 

Predictably, the inside of the building was as miserable as the outside. The lobby floor was streaked with dirt, the potted plants in the corner were withered brown stumps, and the decorative water fountain was clogged with trash. A scrap of paper taped to the elevator doors read OUT OF ORDER in black Sharpie. With a resigned sigh, Bertholdt hiked his way up three flights of narrow, rickety stairs to the third floor. The door to Room 301 was already slightly ajar, which meant that Annie was already inside.

Bertholdt gently pushed the door farther open, setting his bags down on the floor inside. The apartment was small and smelled strongly of old mothballs and dust. To his right was a general living area, and to his left a kitchenette. Down a short hallway were three doors that Bertholdt presumed led to bedrooms and a bathroom. The carpeting was threadbare and worn to a faded gray color, and all the furniture was clearly second-rate stuff from thrift stores. Bertholdt frowned and poked at a bit of stuffing sticking out of a hole in the arm of the living room couch. "Annie?" He called out softly.

"In here," came the blonde girl's tired voice. Bertholdt went down the hallway to find Annie sprawled out atop a bed in one of the bedrooms, clutching a pillow to her chest. 

"Uh..." He lingered in the doorway, unsure as to whether or not Annie wanted him to come in at the moment. She was known for having a fearsome temper, and Bertholdt was the only person she ever willingly allowed to touch her for more than a moment. Still, out of respect for Annie's personal boundaries, Bertholdt didn't go to her straight away. "You want to talk, or should I leave you alone?"

 _"Goddammit!"_ Annie shouted, flinging the pillow away from her. It hit the opposite wall with a loud smack before falling limply to the floor. "This is such a load of _bullshit!_ "

Bertholdt said nothing. For the five years the two of them had spent apart from Reiner, their only source of comfort besides each other was the knowledge that Reiner was safe. No matter what hell Bertholdt and Annie endured, at least Reiner had managed to escape. Reiner was happily living his own life away from the military, and the fact that he had stayed off of their radar for five years had to mean that it _was,_ ultimately, possible to live away from endless fighting and war, away from dull gray corridors and dull gray rooms in an equally dull gray building. Freedom was possible, even for people like them, who had been prisoners their whole lives.

Such a thought had given Bertholdt great hope these last five years. As long as Reiner stayed gone, it meant that he and Annie could plan to escape themselves and join him. Reiner was out there, somewhere in the big wide world outside of the TITAN Project, and Bertholdt was determined to find and join him there. Wherever Reiner was, Bertholdt knew there was a place for him too. His place was with Reiner, and always had been. The two of them belonged together, and Annie belonged with them as well.

Bertholdt supposed that a small, firmly suppressed part of himself had always known that it couldn't be that simple. The military would never simply let any of them go, not after it had poured so much time and money and effort into creating them. The perfect weapons, the instruments with which they could exert their terrible influence over the whole world. Still, Bertholdt had felt nauseous when the Director had called him and Annie into his office and showed them all the information that he had collected on Reiner over the years. Showed them where Reiner lived and what he was doing with his life, a life that had now been revealed as merely a pleasant interlude in Reiner's greater purpose as a warrior for the state. The tall boy had violently thrown up right after the meeting, hunched over his toilet while listening to the sounds of Annie kicking her mattress in two in the next room.

Annie had curled into herself, clutching at the fabric of her jeans so tightly that her knuckles had turned white. She looked even tinier than usual like this, as if the cheap cream-colored bed sheets would swallow her whole. The blonde girl had never dealt with her emotions well, preferring to keep them locked tightly away beneath a facade of apathy. Occasionally, however, things became too much for Annie and her feelings would then be unleashed in a burst of violence. Though these times were few and far between, Bertholdt had always been there in the aftermath to pick up their pieces. He was Annie's rock, the same way Reiner had been his when they were children.

All the tall boy could do was sit gently down at the edge of the bed and lay a comforting hand against Annie's back. She made an angry, muffled sort of growl, but after a few moments leaned slightly into the touch as Bertholdt rubbed gentle circles between her shoulder blades.

The tall boy reached into his pants pocket and gently touched the small pocket knife that resided in a leather case within. It wasn't much to look at, but for Bertholdt it was extremely precious indeed. It was something Reiner had given to him, right before their botched escape attempt five years ago. _For protection,_ Reiner had told him, with that bright and easy grin that he only ever seemed to show around Bertholdt. He'd been so self-confident and cocky back then, certain that they would all escape together.

 _Don't worry, Reiner,_ Bertholdt thought firmly, gently gripping the knife's handle between his fingers. _This time, I'll protect you. I promise._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm super-annoyed with how this chapter progresses plot-wise. I felt that cramming in Bert and Reiner's meeting after I'd already written ten pages of stuff would be too awkward, especially since it's such an important scene. However, the boys will be meeting each other next chapter without a shadow of a doubt! ^_^;;;
> 
> (So could you tell BRA is my OT3 in this chapter? Because BRA is totally my OT3. I love Annie. That being said, this fic is strictly ReiBert in terms of romantic pairings because that's what D wanted ^_^).
> 
> Also, writing Reiner's dream sequences hurts me inside. My only consolation is that he probably had a really crappy childhood canon-wise as well. I'm sorry Reiner bby. ;-;
> 
> Thank you thank you thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, left kudos, etc. You guys are the best! I couldn't ask for a better group of readers~ <3


	6. Chapter 4: Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bertholdt and Reiner meet. Finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so this is the chapter I'm sure that everyone's been waiting for - Bertholdt and Reiner meet! Ugh, I'd meant for them to meet up sooner, I really did. Whenever I write something, it always ends up becoming way longer and more drawn-out than I'd wanted it to be...
> 
> Since it was requested in a comment left by Saphruikan, I have stopped referring to Reiner as "the blond." I think this will be a good decision moving forwards. It's probably not such a good idea to be referring to characters by their hair color anyway... ^///^
> 
> WARNINGS: More minor character death (of random OCs) in Reiner's dreams, as well as blood and some graphic descriptions of transforming into a Titan. Hopefully you guys have come to expect disturbing stuff in the dream sequences by now.
> 
> Anyway, I'm quite pleased at having gotten a chapter out in less than a month this time. :) And for once, I actually _liked_ the way a chapter turned out. Enjoy, everyone~

_Reiner is given a knife to cut himself with, in order to aid with his transformations. He doesn't know why or how he has gotten this ability, and as usual, no one will answer his questions. All he knows is that in order to transform into a Titan, he needs to injure himself. Reiner must also have a firm motivation in mind for a transformation to be successful. Of course, the Director has no shortages of "motivations" for Reiner. Usually, these come in the form of having someone dangle a favorite toy or treat just out of Reiner's reach, not allowing the boy to have his prize until he is able to successfully transform. It is equal parts humiliating and frustrating to be treated in such a manner, but it does provide enough motivation to fuel Reiner's transformations._

_When Reiner is unable to find the motivation to transform, the Director simply orders him to be left outside overnight, with nothing but water to drink, like an unruly dog that must be broken in. Reiner has spent these nights curled up on the cold, hard ground in the empty, fenced-in asphalt lot where his transformations are performed and observed. He tries desperately to get comfortable enough to sleep, but he is almost never successful. So Reiner spends these miserable nights crying and shivering as the cold nighttime air washes over him. He is surrounded by dried and steaming bloodstains as he cuts himself with his knife, over and over again, trying desperately to transform one of his human limbs into a Titan one so that he will be let back inside._

_Reiner hates, hates,_ hates _shifting into a Titan with a passion. There is always a sharp stab of pain that occurs each time he hurts himself, even though the wound will heal almost instantly. The blinding light that accompanies each successful shift hurts his eyes. The sensation of one of his limbs growing tens of times larger than a human's, shedding its skin and replacing it with huge ropes of muscle and plates of bone, is borderline painful. It is a feeling of stretching, of warping and twisting, and Reiner feels as if his body will fly apart into a million little pieces every time._

_No matter how many toys are taken away from him, no matter how often he is left outside, Reiner has never been able to fully transform into a Titan. The most he can manage at one time is both arms or both legs. He can tell that this bothers the Director immensely, since the man is constantly ranting on about having to show "results to the higher ups." He even tries having Reiner injected with another dose of the mysterious Serum. It makes the boy violently ill for a week and a half, and yet still does not help him to transform any further. In the end, the Director is forced to admit, in bits and pieces of scattered conversation with his subordinates that Reiner is lucky enough to overhear, that Reiner might simply be too young to achieve a full transformation as of yet. He is only ten years old, after all._

_It's a few days after he turns ten, that Reiner sees his first Titan._

_He's outside in the fenced in lot, covered in sweat and feeling exhausted after over an hour of transforming his human arms and legs into Titan ones. Suddenly, there's a burst of panicked shouting from somewhere over the fence, followed by the blaring sound of an alarm. Reiner's head whips back and forth in confusion, unknowing of what's going on. Then, he feels it. A deep pounding noise, reverberating through the ground, as if something very large is moving towards him very quickly. A small pebble near Reiner's foot trembles, bouncing slightly as the pounding grows ever closer._

_Something vaults over the concrete wall to Reiner's left, tearing straight past the coil of barbed wire that runs along the top of it. It lands heavily right in front of him, creating deep cracks in the asphalt. Reiner looks up, and sees a vision straight out of his childhood nightmares of bogeymen and monsters under the bed. Only this one is hundreds of times larger than the puny creatures his mind conjured up in the dark of night._

_It is undeniably a Titan. Reiner has seen pictures of them before, in books and during his lessons. These pictures have done little to prepare him for the actuality of seeing one of them, though. The Titan is much, much larger than Reiner, with long tangles of brown hair falling around its shoulders and face. Beady black eyes stare down at him through clumps and strands of hair, practically blazing with fury. The creature's entire face is filled with anger, actually, making it look like some kind of giant, terrible gremlin. Wisps of steam rise from its arm and side, where the flesh was torn by the barbed wire and is slowly knitting itself back together. Its huge mouth is contorted into a snarl, baring sharp teeth that are terrifyingly reminiscent of a shark's. Each one is at least as long as Reiner's leg._

_Just like when his arm first shifted into that of a Titan's in the Director's lab around a year ago, Reiner cannot move. He can't even close his eyes. All he can do is stand there, eyes wide as they stare up, up, up at the monster before him. He feels tiny, like an insect. This Titan could crush him, easily, with the slightest move of its foot. Just like how Reiner sometimes squashes ants beneath his own foot, unthinkingly. Tiny, pathetic whimpers escape from Reiner's throat, as he is faced with what feels like death itself. Hot tears are streaming down his face, and his pants are feeling uncomfortably wet._

_People in flak jackets and riot helmets swoop down from the sides of nearby buildings in the complex, supported by thin wires. Some of them are firing guns straight into the Titan's eyes in an attempt to blind it, while others draw swords from their sides, the thin blades flashing silver in the harsh afternoon light. They close in on a spot just below the nape of the Titan's neck, clearly planning on killing it._

_The monster roars, and swats the incoming soldiers away with a great sweep of its massive, long-fingered hand. They let out loud shrieks as their wires snap and they are sent flying backwards through the air. Reiner hears harsh thuds and a few sickening cracks behind him, but he can't bring himself to turn around and look. The Titan roars one more time, showering Reiner in long, sticky strands of spit. Then it turns and clambers up the far wall of the enclosure, its fingers digging into the stone. It heaves itself up and over, uncaring of the barbed wire tearing at its skin. Then the Titan is gone as soon as it came, the pounding of its heavy footsteps slowly fading as it gets farther and farther away._

_Military personnel swarm into the enclosure, carrying guns and screaming into handheld radios._ "DANCER is loose! I repeat, DANCER has escaped confinement!" _One woman shouts repeatedly into her radio as she runs past Reiner. Many of them run to the fallen bodies of their comrades behind Reiner, crying out obscenities and exclamations of shock and horror._ "He's dead! Vazquez is dead!" _A man cries out. Someone else nearby begins sobbing._

_Reiner falls to his knees, wrapping his arms tightly around his torso. He is hyper-aware of the frantic beating of his heart, of the harsh breaths heaving in and out of his lungs. Each breath, each beat, is a sign that he is alive. He is still crying and whimpering, covered in gooey Titan saliva, and has most definitely peed his pants. But none of that matters right now. The only thing that matters is that Reiner is alive. And despite the chaos currently swirling about him, the fact that he is alive, that he has faced certain death and yet somehow survived, gives Reiner a kind of strength and inner calm that he has never before experienced._

_As long as he is alive, then right now, nothing else matters._

**-x-**

The next morning, Reiner was sitting next to Connie in homeroom as usual, watching with an amused grin on his face as his best friend tried to snag Sasha's cinnamon bun from her without getting caught. With her slim, athletic figure, no one ever would have guessed that Sasha was a champion eater. The girl always had food nearby, and was almost always munching on some kind of snack. While Sasha was perfectly willing to share if asked, there was no faster way to get Sasha angry than taking some of her food without permission. Which, of course, Connie always tried to do. It had become sort of a competition between the two of them, to see if Connie could get away with stealing Sasha's food undetected. 

"You should really knock it off, Connie," Reiner laughed, as Connie made yet another flailing grab for the bun that Sasha was keeping just out of his reach. "Seriously, you're practically handing Mrs. Wilson a reason to land your ass in detention. Again." Their homeroom teacher, Mrs. Wilson, was perpetually annoyed by Connie's goofing off and general prankster attitude. It didn't help that earlier in the year, Connie had done a book report on _Green Eggs and Ham_ for one of Mrs. Wilson's assignments. Star running back or no, Connie had been in detention with the crabby English teacher at least three times already this marking period, and the school year was only about halfway over. Judging by the sour look Mrs. Wilson was giving them right now, Reiner had a feeling that Connie was about to get detention number four.

Just then, the classroom door opened slightly. Not wide enough for Reiner to see who it was, but enough so that the door's notoriously squeaky hinges had managed to grab his attention. "Excuse me?" A quiet, male voice said. "Is - is this Mrs. Wilson's homeroom class? Room 208?"

"Ah yes," Mrs. Wilson's attention moved away from Connie, and she walked over to the door. "Come on in, Bertholdt, don't be shy."

The door opened the rest of the way, and Bertholdt stepped awkwardly inside. "Class," Mrs. Wilson said sharply, causing the murmur of conversation between students in the room to die down slightly. "We have a new student today, who's just moved to Trost. Everyone, please welcome Bertholdt Fubar."

The first thing Reiner thought was that Bertholdt was _tall._ Reiner was a big guy himself, but this new kid looked even taller than Reiner was. He was at least a head taller than Mrs. Wilson, and Reiner could only imagine how small people like Connie and Christa would look next to him. In keeping with his stature, Bertholdt had long arms and legs and large, long-fingered hands, which were currently trembling slightly with nerves at his side. Reiner was pretty good at sizing up a guy's physical appearance after years of training three or four days a week with other sweaty, muscular guys in the gym. So he realized that despite his tall, narrow build, this Bertholdt guy was actually pretty built. Reiner could see, just barely, the telltale flex of lithe muscle beneath Bertholdt's dark sweatshirt, and he could tell by the way the taller boy held himself that Bertholdt was an active guy.

Reiner's eyes traveled upwards, to Bertholdt's face. The guy looked sweaty, probably from nerves, and he was biting his lip slightly as well. Reiner sympathized. It was hard being the new guy. He had been the new guy once himself, after all, back when he'd first started living with Auruo and Petra. Bertholdt had short, dark-brown hair, a few strands of which were sticking out rebelliously around his ears. It was kind of cute in a way, actually. Reimer frowned at that thought. Since when did he find anything about another guy to be _cute?_

Bertholdt's eyes darted to the right, and for just a brief moment they met Reiner's golden-brown gaze before darting back to Mrs. Wilson. Bertholdt's eyes were a dark, olive green color, and they seemed... _heavy,_ somehow. As if he was quietly shouldering some kind of heavy burden, or was keeping a whole lot of deep secrets. Reiner couldn't help the sharp jolt of recognition that ran through him when his eyes had met Bertholdt's. His mind immediately flashed back to the tall boy of his dreams, the familiar and comforting figure that was by his side throughout all of the torture and horror, and Reiner scoffed slightly. Just because Bertholdt was tall, meant he was a figure from Reiner's crazy dreams? Dreams that weren't even real, just products of his crazy, overactive imagination. _Come on, don't be stupid,_ Reiner mentally scolded himself. _You've never seen this guy before in your life._

And yet, why did Reiner get the strange feeling that he knew this boy, this Bertholdt, somehow? Had they met when Reiner was a child, sometime before he was twelve? Back during that mysterious time in the orphanage, the years that Reiner just couldn't remember, no matter how hard he wracked his brain?

"Bertholdt," Mrs. Wilson was saying, looking kindly up at the new boy, "why don't you say a few things about yourself to the class?"

One of Bertholdt's long-fingered hands went up to sheepishly rub the back of his neck. His face reddened, and Reiner felt another surge of sympathy for the taller boy. The only thing worse than being the new kid was having some teacher ask you to "introduce yourself to the class." "Uh...hi," Bertholdt said nervously. "So, yeah, I'm Bertholdt, but you can just call me Bert if that'd be easier. I just moved here from Shiganshina, and uh...nice to meet all of you? I guess?"

The room was filled with an awkward silence for a few moments as the students in the room looked at Bertholdt, forming their first impressions and opinions of him. A few whispered conversations broke out amongst those sitting in the back of the room, who were clearly already bored with the new student. Bertholdt was shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot now, his embarrassed blush deepening further.

"Well, it's lovely to have you with us, Bert," Mrs. Wilson said, finally breaking the silence. "Why don't you take a seat, hm? There's an extra spot next to Reiner over there." She gestured over to Reiner, who gave a little wave at the new student. Ducking his head slightly, Bertholdt gratefully hurried over and slid into the seat next to Reiner. The rest of the students in the room went back to talking quietly amongst themselves, now that the novelty had worn off.

Reiner turned to face Bertholdt. "Hey," he said. "Like Mrs. Wilson said, I'm Reiner. Reiner Braun. Good to meet you." He smiled, hoping to make Bertholdt feel more at ease.

Bertholdt's eyes met Reiner's once again, only this time they held his gaze for more than a few seconds. Reiner again felt the strange pull of familiarity at meeting those intense green irises. "Hello," Bertholdt said quietly. "Good to meet you too..." The taller boy finally broke Reiner's gaze to stare down at the scuffed and scratched plastic surface of his desk, his fingers tracing along the lines scored by years of pens and pencils. Reiner again felt a pang of sympathy for Bertholdt. Being the new kid had to be especially hard for a shy guy like him.

"Sup, Bert!" Connie practically shouted, leaning across Reiner to shove his hand in Bertholdt's face. The taller boy flinched away in surprise. "Name's Connie! Connie Springer. Running back of the Trost High Giants - that's the school football team. You play any sports, dude? Tall guy like you, I bet you're really into basketball, huh?"

"Hiii!" Sasha waved from Connie's other side after taking a giant bite of her cinnamon bun. She sprayed a mouthful of crumbs across the table, and Bertholdt winced slightly. "'m Sasha!"

Bertholdt looked a bit stunned at Connie and Sasha's enthusiastic introduction. Nevertheless, he took Connie's hand and shook it gingerly. "No, I don't really play sports," he said, eyes shifting away from Connie's face to Reiner's once again.

Laughing slightly, Reiner gently pushed Connie back into his seat. "Sorry about that," he apologized to Bertholdt. "Connie's like this with everyone. He's just a really excitable guy."

"Aw, come on man, I'm just trying to be nice! Don't give me a hard time for trying to make the new guy feel welcome," Connie complained.

"So let me see your schedule," Reiner continued, ignoring Connie. "If you have a class in common with me, I can walk you there." He knew it was stupid, but the fact that Bertholdt reminded Reiner so much of the _(completely fictional, don't be a crazy idiot, Reiner)_ tall boy from his dreams made Reiner want to help him as much as he could.

Bertholdt reached into his backpack and pulled out a slightly crumpled piece of paper, which he handed to Reiner. "Thank you, I appreciate the help. I don't really know where I'm going, after all."

"No problem. I was new once, too, you know," Reiner said as he scanned Bertholdt's schedule. "Hey, that's a weird coincidence! You actually share most of my classes with me," Reiner shot Bertholdt another smile, hoping that the taller boy would relax a bit more. Bertholdt seemed so tense, as if he was afraid the room would just collapse around him at any moment. "You can stick with me for the day, Bert. I'll make sure you don't get lost."

 _Coincidence my ass,_ Bertholdt thought. Someone from the military had clearly hacked into the school's computers in order to match his schedule up with Reiner's. Which meant that he'd have next to no classes with Annie, of course. It would look a bit odd, after all, if both of the new students had the exact same schedules. Still, if it meant that he could spend more time with Reiner, Bertholdt wasn't going to complain.

"Mr. Nice Guy over here!" Connie reached up to rub his fist against Reiner's hair, causing him to laugh at the good-natured ribbing. "Reiner Braun, star quarterback _and_ protector of newbies?! They should make you a saint."

"Knock it off, asshole!" Reiner turned around and playfully punched Connie's shoulder. "You're such a jerk."

The bell rang, signaling the end of homeroom. The volume of the room increased dramatically as chairs scraped and backpacks were organized. No longer required to stay quiet, students started to laugh and call out to one another. "Come on, Bert," Reiner said, as he got up and slung his backpack over his shoulders. "Let's head to Social Studies."

"See you at lunch, Reiner," Connie said with a grin, clapping Reiner on the shoulder. "Come on, Sasha, I know you've got snacks! Lemme have some, please? I'm _starving!"_ Connie shouted, playfully chasing the cheerleader out of the classroom and down the hall.

Bertholdt smiled slightly, and Reiner couldn't help the answering grin that spread across his face. He knew that he shouldn't care so much about whether or not a guy he'd just met five minutes ago _smiled_ or not, but it still made Reiner feel good to see Bertholdt smile. It was only because the guy was new, he told himself. "OK, let's go. I'll follow you," Bertholdt said as he pulled his arms through the straps of his own backpack.

With a quick glance over his shoulder to make sure Bertholdt was following, Reiner headed out into the stream of students heading to their first classes, or gathering in groups of twos and threes to exchange news and gossip. The hallways were filled with the cacophonous sound of hundreds of people talking and laughing to each other. Reiner had only made it about halfway down the hallway before he felt a firm, long-fingered hand wrapping around his bicep. A moment later, he found himself yanked by a pair of strong, wiry arms into an empty classroom. The motion-sensitive lights overhead flickered on, momentarily blinding Reiner. He blinked the stars out of his eyes to see Bertholdt standing only a few inches in front of him, his tall body positioned in front of the door to block Reiner's exit. 

Reiner was shocked, to say the least. He was no slouch in the strength department - being the school quarterback and working out had given him some impressive muscles. He could tell that Bertholdt was fit, but that lanky frame must have been hiding more power than Reiner had originally thought, for the taller boy to be able to drag him around like a sack of potatoes. Reiner quickly backed up, uncomfortable with his sudden proximity to Bertholdt, and braced his hands against a desk. "What the _fuck,_ man?!" He hissed. "Who the hell do you think you are, just dragging me in here all of a sudden?! What are you, crazy?"

Bertholdt regarded Reiner silently for a moment, his face serious. His eyes seemed to pierce through Reiner as if he was a bug, and they were filled with emotion. What emotion, though, Reiner couldn't tell. Desperation, perhaps? Sadness? Relief? He was growing more uncomfortable by the moment, standing in an empty room with a boy he barely knew blocking the only exit. Reiner was just about to shove Bertholdt aside and go out the door when the taller boy finally spoke. "Reiner...do you remember me?"

The words were spoken so softly that Reiner wouldn't have heard them, had the noise of students in the hallways not been muted by the classroom door. Bertholdt was staring straight at him, and this time Reiner could see the desperation written all over the other boy's face. It was as if Bertholdt's future happiness depended literally on Reiner's answer to his question. Despite the fact that the guy seemed crazy, Reiner found himself searching his brain for any hint of a memory about Bertholdt. The image of the tall boy, faceless and featureless as always, danced before Reiner's eyes, but he impatiently shoved the intrusive thought away. Bertholdt was certainly _not_ a figment of his strange imagination. Imaginary beings didn't shove people they'd just met into classrooms and then ask them weird questions.

There was nothing. Before the night when Petra and Auruo found him shivering to death on their porch, there were no memories at all. "I'm sorry," Reiner found himself saying, averting his eyes from Bertholdt's face to stare down at his sneakers. He didn't want to see the other boy's desperate, hopeful expression crumple and fall into one of sorrow. "I don't remember ever meeting you before." He chanced a glance up, and immediately regretted it. Bertholdt's green eyes had gone dark with sadness, and he was clenching his fists tightly at his side. It seemed as if Bertholdt's entire body had slumped, just slightly, under the weight of his disappointment. It was like seeing a child waking up on Christmas morning, only to find no presents underneath the tree. Reiner's heart ached at the sight.

"For what it's worth," Reiner said, "I don't remember anything from before I was twelve. It's like some weird kind of amnesia, I guess. I've been told that the memories will return in time, but they haven't yet."

Bertholdt wilted a bit more at that. He had been so sure that Reiner would remember him, had been positive that his best friend couldn't just forget about him. Not after all that they'd been through together, them and Annie. But judging by Reiner's confused expression, he had. Apparently, the military had been telling the truth when they'd said Reiner had amnesia. Now Reiner probably thought he was nuts.

Still, perhaps Bertholdt could still save this. . Luckily, Nile and the Director had thought to tell him and Annie the bullshit story that they had spun for Reiner after his escape from the military. Of course, Bertholdt hadn't thought he would need to use it. "Uh, well, you grew up in the St. Rose orphanage, right? In Shiganshina?" At Reiner's nod, he continued. "Well, I guess you don't remember me, but I grew up in the orphanage, too. We were best friends, you and I. We played together every day. At least, we were until you ran away and got adopted. The orphanage wouldn't let me see you after that. They said you didn't remember me, but...I guess I didn't believe them. You really don't remember anything?"

"I'm sorry," Reiner muttered again, shifting uncomfortably against the desk. 

Bertholdt sighed slightly. "Anyway, me and my sister Annie are getting fostered by a guy who lives in Trost. So we go to school here now." He smiled sadly. "I was so excited when I knew I'd get to see you again, Reiner..."

Reiner, meanwhile, had perked up. Finally, he was meeting someone he'd known as a child! This had never happened before, as Reiner had never been back to the orphanage since meeting the Bossard-Rals. And Bertholdt was someone who was close to him, who was claiming to be his old friend. Reiner's heart leapt. Perhaps spending time with Bertholdt would help trigger the return of those memories, the memories that Reiner was so desperately curious about. "Come home with me after school," Reiner said.

Bertholdt looked surprised. "Huh?"

"I said, come home with me after school, Bertholdt. You can stay for dinner, my dad won't mind. You can tell me all about our time in the orphanage together. Maybe talking to you will help my memories to come back!" Reiner grinned. "You have _no idea_ how happy I am to see someone from my past, man."

Bertholdt's heart sunk. Reiner wanted to know about his past? A past that was a lie, engineered by the TITAN Project and now continued by Bertholdt himself. The fact that Reiner _didn't_ remember anything was a blessing, even if it meant that Bertholdt was now a stranger to him. Still, Bertholdt couldn't bring himself to tell Reiner the truth. There was no way that Reiner, who had lived a perfectly normal life as far as he knew, would ever believe him. He wouldn't want to talk to Bertholdt ever again. And Bertholdt couldn't bear that. Not now, not when Reiner was smiling at him, when Reiner was saying that he was happy to see Bertholdt again. It made his heart leap, despite everything.

He found himself smiling, a genuine smile for the first time in years. "Okay," Bertholdt said. "I'll have to tell my foster dad and Annie, but it should be fine."

"Great!" Reiner grinned. "Now let's go, the bell's about to ring and Mr. Bain will give us hell if we're late." Bertholdt nodded and moved aside, letting Reiner open the door. He turned to look at Bertholdt, leaning against the door frame slightly. "You coming?" 

Bertholdt nodded, and followed Reiner back out into the hallway. _Oh Reiner...I'm so sorry I have to lie to you. Please forgive me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Bertholdt, can I ever end a chapter with you _not_ angsting over Reiner? Apparently not... u.u
> 
> So there you have it! The boys have finally met! Now it's time for awkward teen boy romance shenanigans, hooray! With a healthy dose of plot, as well. And hopefully I can start putting some kid!Reiner and kid!Bertholdt fluff into the dream sequences. I'm killing myself with all the angst I'm putting Reiner through in these dreams. IT HURTS ME TOO, EVERYONE. 
> 
> (Also, can you guess who the Titan Reiner saw in his dream was? Cause, you know, it wasn't totally obvious or anything).
> 
> As always, thank you very, very much to everyone leaving kudos and comments! It means a lot to know you guys like my first foray out of the comforts of Ereri. :)

**Author's Note:**

> *hides in the corner*


End file.
